Long Sleeves
by SolemnMischiefManager
Summary: He should not hate his name, he knew that, but he did. He hated the name and the pressure that came with that and because of that, he had to wear long sleeves. Because a hatred for a name turned to self-hatred.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 **A/N - Just a warning before we start, this story is rated M for a reason, there will be drugs, sex (not too graphic though who knows how it'll go?) mentions or rape, eating disorders, under-age drinking, self harm, strong language...basically anything I can get in really! And a warning, this story is not a happy one!**

* * *

 _Chapter 1 - Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight, let the fire bring me back to life_

He stands waiting, watching the other First Years nervously approach the stool where they are sorted. He waits with butterflies in his stomach as the line slowly dwindles as more and more students are sorted, he waits for the list to reach the 'W's' where Freddie is stood waiting, anxious for his turn.

His gaze drifts across the Great Hall, the roof that seems to not be there but to be open to the heavens, the floating candles with their flickering flames, the pale faces of students and ghosts alike fixed on the stool at the front where Neville stands, calling out names. Freddie's eyes narrow ever so slightly and he scans over the faces once more, just briefly, all _pale_ faces. Sometimes, he finds it easy to forget just what a minority he is in as half cast.

The eleven year old suddenly spots a familiar face, Teddy flashes him a crooked smile, his hair his favourite turquoise shade, his eyes a bright green. He shots Freddie a thumbs up from his place at the Ravenclaw table then mouths 'Focus!' Freddie shakes himself a little and forces himself to focus back on the sorting. His cousin, Victoire, rolls her eyes at him from where she stands beside him.

"It's your turn next!" She whispers in the taller boy's ear.

Freddie blinks in surprise at that, he could have sworn they were only on the 'S's' last time he checked.

"Weasley, Fred!"

A murmur, quiet but unmistakable, sweeps through the Great Hall but vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. Freddie represses the urge to correct Neville, he was Freddie _not_ Fred, and his Uncle of sorts very well knew that. Freddie gathers his nerves and walks towards the stool, he hears a murmur again and ignores it, he ignores the Professors looking at him unwaveringly – after all he is the first Weasley to be sorted for a long time – he tries to return Neville's warm smile but he's sure his is more of a pained grimace and sits down.

Neville places the Sorting Hat on his head and he can no longer see the pale faces of the Great Hall staring at him. He's only a little disconcerted by the voice that suddenly appears in his ear.

"Ah, a Weasley is it?" The Hat says in a sly voice, "Haven't seen one of you for a while and my - not a red-head! That _is_ a miracle! Now…where to put you? Gryffindor seems like the obvious option…"  
Freddie feels a stab of panic at that, he doesn't want to be another Fred Weasley, Gryffindor through and through.

"I see…not so fond or your Uncle now are you?" The Hat sounds all too knowing when it next speaks, "You are certainly brave enough for Gryffindor or reckless enough as some would say, your Headmistress would be proud to have another Weasley there, smart but not smart enough for Ravenclaw, kind oh yes but not quite so…hmm, how very strange, I see a darkness brewing inside you Fred, this _will_ be entertaining, it'll have to be… _Slytherin_!"

Freddie finds himself going tense very suddenly. Slytherin? Well, he's not that surprised if he's honest but Slytherin? There's a silence for a whole two seconds in the Great Hall before the Slytherin table explodes into applause. Neville pulls the hat off his head and Freddie glances up at him, his eyebrows raised at the Professor's stunned expression. Freddie stands.

"It's Freddie, _not_ Fred." He tells him before making his way over to the Slytherin table.

As he sits, he see's many shocked expressions being shot his way, he's sees Victoire's mouthing of 'its okay' before she rushes off to get sorted herself, he sees Teddy's familiar crooked smile which soon turns into a goofy grin as Vic is sorted into Ravenclaw as well. Freddie can't help but feel like he made the right choice, even if he didn't have a choice in where he was sorted.

* * *

He's thirteen the first time he's accidentally dragged into a Slytherin party. He's been pretty good at avoiding them with his friend, Aaron, up until then, mainly because everyone part of the parties have a nasty habit of being severely hung over the next morning or coming down from highs. It's not as if the idea of being blackout drunk hasn't ever appealed to Freddie, he'd just rather wait until he's older.

He knew he'd made a mistake when he'd headed down from his dorm to retrieve the hoodie he'd left on one of the couches that morning, everyone was moving around the Common Room, everyone was chatting and laughing, people were here and there are snogging in corners or on the couches. The teen couldn't help but roll his eyes at the actions of his house, he glanced around for his hoodie hoping no one is shagging on it when Jay, a Fifth Year, slammed into his side, his drink going over both teens.

"Freddie!" Jay slurred heavily, his dark brown hair fell into his eyes as he grinned at the dark skinned teen, "You came!"

Freddie rolled his eyes and quickly cast a charm that made his shirt dry once more, he forced himself to smile at his friend, "No, I didn't, I just came down for – _hey_!"

Jay had shoved a drink into his hand before he can blink, he glanced down at it and recognised the drink – vodka. He wondered where they'd gotten Muggle alcohol from.

"Drink up!" Jay slurred and clapped him on the shoulder before he vanished into the crowd.

Freddie was almost half tempted to set the drink down, he'd had a sip of alcohol here and there when his parents had let him (always a good little boy at home) but right then, he wanted to drink this glass of vodka. He drank it quickly, it had a bitter taste but it was pleasant at the same time, not the same burn as Firewhiskey but similar. He liked the taste. He likes the taste.

He told himself he'd just have the one that night. But he can't remember how many he had after his third. That's when he knew he shouldn't have left his dorm, his eyesight is blurry and he feels like he's going to be sick but he still presses Aaron's girlfriend up against the wall beside one of the windows in the Common Room and presses his lips to hers in a heated, drunken kiss.

He feels worse because he doesn't feel bad at what he's doing.

* * *

Having the reputation as 'Hogwarts partier' is both a blessing and curse, Freddie decides. He's fourteen and he's been to more parties than most of the Seventh Years, he's been drunk far too many times to keep count. He likes the feeling of drinking too much that he blackouts and wakes up wondering what happened the night before. He doesn't like the hangovers but then again who does?

He's learnt Ravenclaw parties are a bit wilder than people expect, he knows Vic is a lightweight and that even a half a glass of cider can wipe her out and have her professing her love to everyone and anyone – especially Teddy. He knows Teddy can hold his booze quite well but eventually the haze turns to drunken slurring and the already uncoordinated Lupin stumbling around. He's seen James tag along to a few of the parties, drink a little then stop. Freddie knows he should do the same.

He's the first to start drinking but not the last. The vodka is still bitter but doesn't burn the way it used to, the beer is still strange and frothy but he can't taste the different flavours anymore, it all tastes the same after a while. He drinks until he can't see straight, and he can't remember the name of the girl he's kissing, and he can't keep track of what clothing he has on.

Freddie drinks for the sake of drinking, or so he says. He sees the looks Aaron and Teddy send his way as he stumbles into the table holding the drinks, reaching for another beer, he sees the look and almost hears the mutters of his two friends but he pushes forward, downing the alcohol almost desperately. He misses the feeling of near sickness, of the mild dread of a hangover the next morning. He hates his tolerance for the alcohol. He needs something else to drown things out.

He goes to Jay. Jay who's not quite drunk yet but getting there. Freddie stumbles over to his friend, blue eyes bright but a little unfocused and dark brown hair damp with sweat from a rather intense snogging session with a Gryffindor girl.

"Freddie!" Freddie can't quite understand just how Jay is always so cheerful, "You're not drinking," his tone is half teasing half _relieved_ , "I'm impressed mate I-"

But Freddie needs a solution and fast, "You got a joint I can have?" he blurts out suddenly.

Jay blinks, once, twice then his mouth drops open, "Yeah, sure, here…" he's hesitant to give Freddie the joint, that much the teen can tell, but he gives him it anyway.

Freddie takes it quickly and raises it to his lip, with a reckless abandonment he doesn't even bother to ask to see if his friend has a match or a lighter he just draws his wand mutters, "Incendio," somehow doesn't light himself on fire and takes in a long drag of the joint. Every nerve comes to live, he feels tingles all over his body, his fingers feel weird but he inhales more of the joint feeling his eyesight go clear then blurry. It makes him feel alive.

He moves away from Jay and see's Teddy stood with Vic both watching him, worriedly.

He told himself he'd just have one that night. Freddie knows that is not the case.

* * *

He like the Quidditch stands but not Quidditch. He can't focus long enough on watching a game let alone play, he knows lots of his family, his parents especially, would love for him to be on the team. But he's Freddie, not Fred. He doesn't want to do that. He stands in the stands instead of going to class. It's November and bitterly cold out. He stands on the top row of the Slytherin stands, the icy breeze stings his cheeks and whips back his hair.

He's just in jeans, his favourite black pair, and a thin band tee. He's dressed for warmer weather but he doesn't care. Freddie raises the cigarette to his lips and breathes in the toxic smoke before breathing it outward. It tingles a little but not as much as a joint because he knows better than to get high before McGonagall's class. Also, his joint dealer has stopped selling them to him thanks to Teddy.

Freddie scowls at the mention of his so-called friend. He stabs the cigarette into the side of the stands burning a hole in the wood before its extinguished. He grits his teeth and with numb fingers pulls out his pack, his hands start to shake as he rips out another cigarette and lights it with his lighter, so crudely designed with the words 'Buy your own fucking lighter' stamped on the side. He breathes in the smoke he craves so much and tries to not think about Teddy. Teddy who meddles too much for his own, Teddy who told Freddie's drug dealer to stop dealing him, whose took to taking drinks off Freddie at parties… He hates him. But at the same time he doesn't. He hates Vic who cries every time she confronts him and says he's only upsetting everyone else.

The teen scoffs aloud at that. As if anyone else would notice he's upset, he's too sad to cry at this point and too tired to sleep. He inhales more smoke. Goosebumps are erupting across his bare arms at this point. He shuffles his feet and glances down at his arm, his skin is dark, darker than his Father's but lighter than his Mother's. He looks like George and therefore he looks like Uncle Fred. He wishes he didn't.

Freddie rolls the cigarette between his fingers. Uncle Fred didn't smoke. He knows that. He's different than he is yet he can't escape the name. He can't escape the pressure. He glances down at his left arm. Smooth dark skin, a scar on his wrist from when he and Teddy broke a few plates at the Burrow once and in Teddy's panic he'd fallen over and knocked Freddie into the broken shards. Freddie touches the scar. He likes the scar.

Fred wouldn't have a scar like that. He knows that. Freddie looks at the cigarette at the lit end, a bright red glow staring right back at him. He purses his lips and pressed the cigarette to his arm, just beside the scar. He cries out at the pain but doesn't pull the cigarette away, if he listens he can hear the sizzle of his burning flesh but he doesn't. He takes in a sharp breath and holds the cigarette there.

He holds it there for forty nine seconds before pulling it away, a small gasp of pain only escaping his lips this time. He tosses the cigarette away over the side of the stands and stares down at the burn. Its circular, small, and his flesh is no longer brown but red and bumpy and strange but… _beautiful_. He likes the burn but he knows he will like the scar more. He likes scars. He needs more scars.

He told himself that it'd just be the one time.

* * *

The issue with staying at the Burrow is that everyone is there. From Andromeda, to Harry, to Hermione and even, at times, Charlie. Christmas that year is no different. Every Weasley and Potter is packed tightly into the house, Freddie has been forced to share a room with Louis and Albus and whilst he has no issue with his younger cousins, he and Al both like the same books and Louis likes to listen to his music, he can't _smoke_. He can't drink.

His stash is in the bottom of his trunk, joints and needles and lighters and cigarette packets, a few bottles of alcohol are there as well but Freddie can't remember if they're empty or not. He doesn't have any alone time to check either way. He showers before the Christmas meal, he dresses into a plain long sleeved jumper (he refuses to wear his Gran's knitted jumper and she doesn't like his band tee's) and his favourite black jeans. He flops on his bed and everything is quiet for a moment.

Freddie takes in a deep breath and wonders if he would get away with having a cigarette or a joint right then. He misses making scars. He glances at the shut door to the room then at his arm, he rolls the sleeve up to his elbow and looks at his forearm. The skin is brown and smooth, there is a scar of his wrist, and a scar below that, fresher and a strange circular shape, beside that scar, another one and another and another. Freddie now has seven. He needs more.

There's a knock at the door and Freddie jumps suddenly.

"Freddie?" It's Charlie. Freddie breathes a silent sight of relief, Teddy has been trying to corner him all holiday.

"Yeah?" The teenager hastily rolls down his sleeve.

Charlie takes that as an invite to open the door, he stands in the doorway, stocky with muscled arms, a nice new burn on the back of his hand, his ginger hair long and unruly, so freckled he could be tanned, he flashes him a grin, "Dinner's nearly ready you may want to hurry up before Bill eats…" he trails off and frowns, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," The lie rolls of his lips with well-practiced ease, he stretches his long legs and stands, "Gran bothered you about the burn?"

Slytherin had taught him many things, one of them being deflection.

Charlie rolls his eyes, "Oh yeah, big time, one of you kids needs to get injured so she gets off me back."

Freddie managed a grin, "Teddy's down there, they'll be an injury."

Charlie laughs and so does Freddie. The elder Weasley turns away and as he does the grin and laugh vanish from Freddie as if they were never there. Sometimes, he finds it tiring to pretend.

He remembers when he told himself he'd just do it the one time.

* * *

 **A/N - Like what you read? Please review I really appreciate it, hope you guys will want more - I already have a few other chapters ready! This story won't be very long maybe just about ten chapters, I haven't decided yet.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 _Chapter 2 – When it rains it pours, stay thirsty like before, don't you know that the kids aren't alright, kids aren't alright?_

He's just finished playfully arguing with Dominique about what the best _Fall Out Boy_ song is and picked up a drink from the kitchen when there's a hand on his shoulder.

"Freddie?"

He forces himself to smile, he tries his hardest to make it seem real because his Father can read him like an open book at times and glances at his Dad. George Weasley smiles back, they have the same face shape and blue eyes, but Freddie's skin is darker, he has less freckles and he has his Mother's nose.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine.

George raises an eyebrow and Freddie tries to hide his panic, "Just a little tired," he lies.

"Why are you playing with your sleeves?"

Freddie tries to not tense but he can tell he has, George squeezes his shoulder again. He looks concerned. Freddie wonders if he looks scared. He hadn't noticed he had been playing with his sleeves, he's recently gotten into the habit of tugging at them a lot to make sure his burns stay that, _his_ burns. He knows people would make a big deal out of it if they saw them.

"Freddie?" George presses.

"Just a little restless," Freddie says, which is true, he's always restless always has been, "Sorry."

George is silent for a moment, "Listen, I've been talking with Hermione, she has this idea, you know how she is after all, well she thinks you may have something called ADHD?"

Freddie is a little confused at this change in conversation but nods, "Okay…what's that?"

"I can't remember the exact definition," George admits with a sheepish grin, "But it may explain why you're always so restless, she said she can take you to get tested for it tomorrow if you want?"

"Oh," Freddie's a little nervous at the sound of that and he really can't stand being around Hermione that long, Freddie may like reading but nowhere near as much as his Aunt, "Er yeah, that sounds okay."

George smiles and nods, "I'll go tell her and Teddy wants to talk to you."

Freddie nods, "Okay, thanks Dad."

George drops his hand from his shoulder and starts to turn away as if he's about to leave but turns back to his son, his son whose almost as tall as him already, whose hair is a wild mess of dark brown curls currently pushed out of his face by a bandanna, whose eyes are George's but they don't seem as _bright_ as usual.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

His son nods, once, and a small smile tugs at his lips, an Angelina smile, "Yeah, I'm fine." He quickly moves away.

An Angelina smile…just not the Angelina smile George wanted to see then.

* * *

Later that night, after Bill and Charlie had gotten so drunk their Mother had nearly screamed the house down and the kids had played their fair share of pranks and games everyone made their way to bed. George had just finished helping Harry discard Ron into the room he's sharing with Hermione before he could finally go join his wife and talk to her.

Angelina stands beside the bed in the midst of changing, she flashes him a smile as she pulls on a plain shirt that is much too big for her – one of George's shirts if he's not mistaken – and he flashes her a grin in response. She's as beautiful as ever, even in one of his ratty old shirts. Her skin is a rich dark chocolate shade, her hair long and black and free of its braids instead a messy halo of curls around her heart shaped face. Her brown eyes are bright and warm.

"Hey," Angelina leans over and presses a chaste kiss to his lips, "Finally got Ron up the stairs?"

George rolls his eyes, "Eventually yes," he puts his hands on her hips, his gaze drops down to where the hem of the shirt just brushes her thighs, "Teddy _thankfully_ didn't help."

Laughter bubbles from her lips and George smiles at his wife, she drapes her arms around his neck and brings her lips to his. George eyes fall shut and he pulls her closer to him. He sometimes forgets that, even though he now has two teenage kids, he is still fairly young. He's only in his mid-thirties after all. He and Ange had had Freddie fairly young and then Roxanne only a few short years after.

Reluctantly, George breaks the kiss. He glances into his wife's eyes and Angelina frowns.

"Something's wrong," She runs her fingers through his hair, "What's going on George?"

"It's Freddie." George sighs.

Angelina looks very concerned very quickly, "Freddie?" she demands, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure," George admits, "I just know somethings wrong…"

He's not quite sure how to explain how he knows this. Angelina draws away from him and sits down on the bed, the shirt ridding up her thighs exposing more of her long tawny legs. George stops himself from thinking about the benefits of being married to a professional Quidditch player. He sits beside her and interlaces his hand with hers.

"I was talking to him earlier," George smooths his thumb over the back of her hand, "And, this is going to sound crazy, but he smiled like you do sometimes, or well used to do sometimes you know when you were lying about your parents…"

He anticipates her going tense and is sadly not in the least bit surprised when she tenses the line of her shoulders and suddenly squeezes his hand very tight. Mentioning her parents has become a massive taboo.

"It's probably nothing to worry about," George continues giving her hand a light squeeze, "I'm just a little worried, he seemed a little off to me."

Angelina nods, "Yeah, I noticed that."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow, after this thing with Hermione." George says.

Ange, again, nods, "Good idea."

George shoots her a knowing look and she sighs, "Sorry."

"It's not your fault Ange." George kisses her forehead.

"I just wish it still didn't get to me." Angelina sighs.

George nods and places his arm around her, he pulls her gently against his side and she curls herself into him, her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, "They were awful to you Ange, I hate to say it but I don't think your reaction will change."

Angelina nods against his chest. George kisses the top of her head and tries to not get angry at the mention of her parents, he hated anything to do with those people – though _monsters_ would be more accurate – and is very, very glad his wife no longer has anything to do with them.

"We really need to tell Rox and Freddie about them." Angelina says suddenly.

George nods slowly at that, "Only when you're ready."

"They deserve to know," Angelina looks up at him and her eyes are very bright, "I mean, they're their Grandparents, they're complete dicks," She says and George smirks, "But they deserve to know why they've never met them."

"Only if you're sure Ange."

Angelina nods slightly, "I'm sure, just got to find a way to tell them that my parents were almost as abusive as the Black family.""

"One day things will be easy with our family." George notes with a smirk.

Angelina grins, "Not a chance, love."

And he pulls her into a kiss, a soft, sweet kiss at first that soon turns to more. He finds himself pulling at the hem of the shirt she was wearing and pulling it over her head as he had wanted to do the second he saw her wearing it, she's pulling off his shirt and his lips are on her neck…

And quite suddenly, George doesn't remember what he was so worried about.

* * *

"Why the fuck didn't they tell us?" Freddie snaps at no one in particular. He paces up and down the kitchen, cracking his knuckles and twisting the sleeves of his shirt in his hands. He desperately wants to smoke and desperately wants to go kick the shit out of something.

His little sister, whose not quite so little anymore, follows his pacing with her eyes from where she is sat on the kitchen table, "It's must be hard for Mum to talk about." She suggests.

Freddie lets out a harsh laugh, "Well good for her."

Roxanne narrows her eyes, she's very like their Mother, and scarily, like their Grandmother. She crosses her arms and pushes back a curly strand of brunette hair.

"Don't be a dick Freddie," She says flatly, "This must be really traumatic for Mum and the fact she's thinking about telling us if as big step if-"

"Oh shut up Rox," Freddie snaps impatiently, "It's just them keeping something secret from us, something we deserved to know!"

Roxanne stands suddenly, she looks so much like their Mum then that Freddie actually stills in his pacing, "Merlin Freddie, this is not some childish secret! It's a big deal! Mum's parents abused her! Don't be a dick about something like that!" she snaps.

Freddie knows he shouldn't retort… "I bet it wasn't even that bad!"

Roxanne's eyes flash and Freddie almost regrets what he says, before he can say anything his sister turns around and storms off upstairs. He's only dimly surprised she doesn't wake anyone up. Freddie sighs in frustration and kicks at one of the legs of the kitchen table, he receives a sharp pain in his foot as a result and swears loudly. He needs to smoke. He needs to drink. He needs to burn.

Or does he…? He spots a small knife beside the kitchen sink, similar to those he uses in Potions when he turns up to the class, the blade is silver and is shining in the moonlight…and it's so beautiful… Freddie thinks of the scar it will leave and that too, will be beautiful. He quickly snatches up the blade and carefully puts it into his pocket. If he can't have a cigarette he'll have a scar.

* * *

The light in the bathroom is very bright and Freddie wishes it was a lot dimmer. The small knife seems to shine even more in the bathroom and Freddie is beginning to have some doubts over what he's about to do. Some, not many. He bolts the door and takes a deep breath. He wishes the light was dimmer. It makes his beautiful scars seem ugly.

Freddie breathes in a deep breath and rests his hands on either side of the sink, the sink is cold to touch and in a strange way calms him. He stares at the knife resting in the bottom of the sink, he's mesmerised by the way it shines and glimmers in the bright light, it suddenly seems a lot bigger than a small kitchen knife. Freddie chews his bottom lip.

This is a big step and he knows it. He knows it's a bad thing to do but when had anything he ever done been right? He thinks of what he said to his sister, his best friend before anyone else, and what he had said about his Mum and her parents… He bites down on his lip and draws blood. He's a horrible person. Vic was right – he's just making people sad. He was the person Aaron's girlfriend cheated on him with. He's the one who snogs girls and doesn't even both to catch their name.

He's a bad person. He deserves this. He's not Fred. He's not Fred. He's not Fred.

He suddenly gasps in pain. He'd cut himself but he doesn't remember when he picked up the knife. The cut isn't deep, maybe a scratch, it doesn't even bleed. He cuts again. It's a cut this time and it bleeds, small beads of blood gather across the gash on his forearm then slowly roll down the side of his arm and are brilliant, bright and _beautiful_ crimson in the bright light.

He likes the sight of the blood, so he cuts again.

The doorknob to the bathroom suddenly rattles as someone tries to open the locked door, Freddie jumps and drops the knife then blinks at the state of arm. When had two cuts become ten?

"Vic I swear to Merlin if that is you getting ready to go shag Teddy or something I'll tell Dad!" His cousin Dom hisses through the door.

Freddie curses under his breath and rapidly cleans away the blood from the sink (why did it have to be _white_?) and wraps a wad of toilet paper around his arm to hide the cuts. He fiddles with his sleeve trying to hide the fact he has half a loo roll wrapped around his forearm. He shoves the knife into his pocket and unlocks the door.

Dom blinks at him in surprise, her strawberry blonde hair messy around her pretty, pale face, "Freddie? Geez, what the hell where you doing in there?"

"Not getting ready to go shag Teddy, so don't tell my Dad that," Freddie supplies humourlessly, he moves aside and lets her into the bathroom, "Why you still up?"

"Gotta share with Molly and Lucy," Dom rolls her eyes almost fondly, "We've only just stopped gossiping, you know how they are speaking of gossip…" she looks at him shrewdly, "Apparently you shagged Megan?"

"Erm – who?" Freddie says blankly.

"Thought so," Dom smirks, "Go to bed Freddie boy."

Freddie rolls his eyes and ruffles his cousin's hair, "Night Domino."

She scowls at his back as he walks away towards the room he is sharing with Albus and Louis. She blinks and shakes herself as she goes to do her business. She must have been going crazy or sleep deprived if she thinks she saw blood on Freddie's sleeve.

* * *

The next day is hell. Complete hell. Freddie knows he should be smiling and laughing, after all its Christmas, but he's worried about this _thing_ Hermione is getting him tested for, and he's worried someone will see the cuts even though he's wearing a thin black jumper and a hoodie that's slightly too big for him, he felt like he was going to have a panic attack when his Grandmother announced she was missing a knife but must have misplaced it due to old age.

Teddy keeps trying to talk to him but Freddie keeps hiding or running off – quite literally at one point – and talking to someone else to avoid the blue haired boy. It's one massive stress after another even before the day has properly begun and all Freddie wants to do is cut. His beautiful cuts aren't bleeding anymore, something the teenager is quite upset about, but they're certainly not healed and he knows it he moves his arm the wrong way they'll bleed but he doesn't mind, if they bleed the blood won't show on his dark clothing.

He sits talking to James for a while before excusing himself and heading upstairs. He knows everyone is downstairs and sees that as an opportunity to maybe cut a few more times before he has to leave with Hermione to go to this unit thing wherever and whatever it is… He makes it into the room he is sharing with his cousins and is reaching for the knife he hid in his trunk when he hears a thud from the next room over.

Freddie dismisses it at first and picks up the knife. He hears another thud, like something was knocked over. He curses and throws the knife back into his trunk before heading out of the room and into the one next to his. The one Teddy is in. He hears another thud and knocks on the door.

"Teddy?"

No answer. There's not another thud. Freddie frowns and opens the door and feels like he's going to be sick when he sees Teddy. There's a nasty cut on the side of his head that's bleeding copiously, his knuckles are bruised and bloodied and the floor length mirror that had stood in the corner of the room is in pieces on the floor, the glass is cracked all around the wooden floor and the frame of the mirror is broken into pieces beside the wall and the door. That would explain the thuds at least.

"Shit," Freddie swears loudly and grabs one of Teddy's shirts off the floor, he kneels down beside the now brown haired boy and presses the shirt to the wound on the side of his head in an attempt to stem the bleeding, "Shit, Teddy, what the fuck?"

Teddy doesn't speak nor does he move from where he's sat on the ground. His arms are wrapped around his knees. He doesn't look like Teddy when he has brown hair, he looks like Remus…

"I know you miss them Ted-" He begins but he's cut off.

"No, you don't Fred!" Teddy snaps but there's a crack to his voice, "Your parents aren't dead! They didn't leave you!"

Freddie thinks of what he could yell back at Teddy, he thinks of how he could yell about _his_ problems and how Teddy doesn't understand how people are trying to make him into a Fred Weasley clone, but he doesn't. That's a good way to get his problems brought to life and he doesn't want to do it and it won't help Teddy. So instead he takes a deep breath and drops Teddy's now bloodied shirt into his lap.

"You're right, I don't," Freddie says as calmly as he can, he hates that Teddy called him _Fred_ , "Not many of us really can, except Harry."

Teddy wipes his face on his sleeve but doesn't reply. Freddie see's that his eyes are red from crying.

"I can go get him if you want?" Freddie offers. Teddy silently nods.

Freddie stands and leaves the room, he makes his way downstairs quite quickly and manages to find Harry even quicker – after all he's raven haired amongst a sea of red heads and blondes."

Freddie?" Harry looks over at him with a questioning look, not missing the panicked look in his eyes.

"Go talk to Teddy." Freddie instructs. Harry raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Go talk to Teddy," Freddie repeats and Harry's questioning look turns to concern, "Now."

Harry is already making his way upstairs and Freddie doesn't make to follow him or inform Ginny or Andy what's going on. Instead he heads over to Hermione and as good as stops her mid conversation with his Mum.

"When are we going?" He asks his Aunt.

"Whenever you're ready." Hermione answered.

"I'm ready." Freddie responded quickly. He just needs to leave and quickly.

* * *

Positive. ADHD. No doubt about it. Treatment? No point. Won't help much as he's wizard. Just has to 'buck up' and deal with something he doesn't really understand. Hermione tried to explain it to him but was just confused by it, weren't most kids and teenagers hyperactive? Sure he spaced out sometimes in class and would rather drum his fingers along a table than write out an essay but wasn't that most teenagers?

Apparently not. Apparently once again Freddie was in a minority. A half cast wizard who now has ADHD. Maybe that was why people wanted him to be a clone of his deceased Uncle, they were trying to help him, and they were trying to help get him out of the minority and into the majority.

* * *

 _ **A/N So not much so say about this chapter except that obviously its gotten a lot darker, added a bit of Teddy angst in there as well because what's live without a little angst now? Please review! Next chapter should be up soon!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 _Chapter 3 – I don't know where you're going but do you got room for one more troubled soul?_

Slytherin house teaches him many things, that not every Slytherin was a crazed Death Eater wannabe and that they weren't all pure evil, Slytherin will support you to no end and is more loyal than any of the other houses, they're cunning and at times deceitful but with a wicked sense of humour and sarcasm so advanced you'd be jealous. Slytherin has also taught him deflection, that you can be good and bad, how to lie to even McGonagall and that is really is just easier to go along with Slughorn.

Slytherin has taught him how to keep his demons hidden from everyone else. Freddie is sixteen, nearly seventeen now. He's impossibly taller, he's grown into looks more, and he's snogging more random girls than ever, drinking and smoke now more than ever and unfortunately, he's gained himself a rather cruel nickname from the few at Hogwarts who don't like him.

He hears the yell of 'Long sleeved n*****' almost daily now. He supposes he should find it insulting but in a way it's correct, he is black (even if only by half) and does wear long sleeves. Because his scars are too prominent to hide, white lines cutting across his flesh that aren't just scars but are the demons he faced at three in the morning and the amount of times he's reached for a cigarette with shaking fingers and bloodshot eyes. They are his scars and will always be his scars.

* * *

It's the Christmas holidays now, he doesn't get any weird looks for wearing jumpers or long sleeved shirts all the time. But he feels claustrophobic around all his family and extended family alike. He feels sick being around. Teddy's officially finished his therapy now and is a million times better than he ever was. He had Vic are together, _finally_ , though Bill still doesn't know.

Everyone in his family seems to be doing fine, happy, cheerful as you should be when with the family at the holidays. Everyone is wearing the Weasley jumpers Freddie's Gran makes every year and for once Freddie is as well. He doesn't like sitting around the table with everyone, he has to have about a million different conversations at once and he really doesn't want to, he's tired and his body is craving that bitter taste or alcohol, or that sting of a joint or a cigarette – and his mind tells him to _cut_. Screams actually.

He manages to excuse himself from the dinner by saying he needs the bathroom, he stands and tries to walk at a normal pace not trying to show his urgency to need to get to the bathroom. He quickly shuts the door behind him and moves over to the sink, the lights are too bright as they were the first time he cut and he still doesn't like the fact that the sink is white. He draws a razor out of his pocket. He had to get rid of the knife a while ago because it was hard to hide and he'd used it too much, so when one of his dorm mates had broken his razor and those small shards of sharp metal were loose, Freddie had taken them.

He rolls back his sleeves and stares down at his dark skin. The skin is no longer smooth. That scar he got when he was younger isn't there anymore, nor or the cigarette burns. Instead his forearms are covered in scars, old and new, white lines that are marring his flesh or red lines that are marring his flesh. The scars cover all his arms, his wrist, the crook of his elbow…and they travel further because a lot of the times he can't fight his demons.

He pressed the razor to the inside of his wrist and drags it across his skin. Blood gathers in small beads to the cut and quickly becomes more than small beads. Freddie drags it across his wrist again, and again, and again… Blood seems to be coating his arm before long but he only turns the razor to his other arm. He's weird when he cuts – there has to be an even amount on each arm. He cuts just to the crook of his elbow and stops there for the night.

Somewhat automatically, Freddie reaches for the toilet roll and gathers a large wad of it and presses it to his wrist. He dabs at the cuts slowly, he savours that sting that comes from the damp paper sticking to the open wound. He shuts his eyes and breathes in deeply, when he opens his eyes the white toilet paper is stained crimson.

"Hey, someone in – _Freddie_?"

Freddie quite literally jumps, he drops the bloodied toilet paper along with the bloody razor. Standing in the doorway, hair turned white from shock or horror is none other than Teddy, his jaw is slack and his eyes are wide and he almost looks like a frozen statue. Slowly, colour returns to his hair, a dark emerald colour.

"Freddie," Teddy speaks very slowly as if he is talking to a child, "Freddie," he swallows hard, "What are you doing?"

Freddie just stares at him. His heart is pounding in his chest and his hands are clammy with panic, blood still coats his arms and the cuts are still on show. He glances down at the razor, a move not missed by Teddy.

"Just – just come with me Freddie, we'll get your Gran to heal you, yeah?"

Teddy steps closer to him and Freddie takes a step back, he collides with the edge of the bathtub and just stares at his oldest friend wishing he would just turn around and leave and forget everything he's seen. But the ex-Ravenclaw just steps closer, he slowly crouches down and reaches for the razor. Freddie suddenly launches himself at the metamorphmagus desperate to reach the razor before he does. But Teddy is faster than that, he grabs that small piece of metal and stuffs it into his jeans pockets.

"Give it back!" Freddie yells somewhat desperately.

His fingers curl into fists and he's seeing red, he drives his fist into Teddy's side and the now red haired teenager cries out and falls to the side, colliding with the sink. Freddie is breathing deeply and he just wants his razor back. The dark skinned teen moves forward gain, aiming for another hit but Teddy anticipates him and grabs a hold of his bloodied wrists in his hands. Freddie can't stop himself from crying out.

"Let go," He hears the own crack in his voice and wishes he sounded angry, "Please, it hurts."

Teddy doesn't release his grip but he loosens it. His eyes are amber and very, _very_ worried.

"I'm going to go get your Dad okay," Teddy says, "Will you wait here?"

Freddie silently nods. Teddy releases the hold of his wrists, his palms are stained crimson. He stands and glances around the small bathroom clearly looking for any other razors or items Freddie could harm himself with – clearly a Ravenclaw through and through. He stares at Freddie for a moment before he hastily leaves the bathroom. Freddie falls to his knees and just sobs.

How long ago had it been since he had said it'd just be the one time?

* * *

George still can't get that image out of his head. The image of his son, his teenage son whose set to graduate from school soon and go off into the real world on his own for the first time, sat sobbing in the bathroom upstairs, his arms mutilated by his own doing and with countless scars underneath the cuts. George doesn't think he will ever forget that sight nor will he forget that feeling or complete _helplessness_ as he stared at his broken son, not knowing what to do or say.

When Angelina eventually arrives at the Burrow after Quidditch practice, George wishes he could hurry over to her and just hold her for a long time but he can't. His Mother had healed Freddie as soon as George had managed to get him downstairs with the help of Bill – they all had learnt from years of experience just how uncoordinated Teddy is and therefore didn't ask for his help – and as soon as his son was healed he'd fallen asleep, his head in George's lap. He hears his wife and his Mother's voice in the other room, he glances down at his son's sleeping face. He looks peaceful and _young_. He places his hand on Freddie's shoulder and gently squeezes it, the teen barely stirs.

Angelina rushes into the room then, her brown eyes wide with worry. George glances over at her and hastily presses a finger to his lips signalling for her to be quiet. She nods and kneels down beside the couch. Her black curls are tied back in a long ponytail, she's still wearing her Quidditch jersey. George takes a hold of her hand and squeezes it tightly in his.

"We have to take him to the psych ward in St Mungo's," Angelina says, she's staring at Freddie's face as he sleeps, "We have to get him _help_."

George nods in agreement, "We'll take him there as soon as he wakes up."

* * *

Sitting in the 'psych ward' of a magical hospital with your parents, sister, two of your Uncles, three cousins and a surrogate brother isn't exactly how Freddie wanted to spend his Christmas holiday. Everything's silent and everyone is staring at Freddie as if he's going to suddenly pull out a gun and shoot himself. He feels uncomfortable and he really wants to smoke.

The second he gets up to pace Albus looks so alarmed his green eyes go as wide as emeralds and George shoots him worried look to defeat all worried louds. But Freddie just sighs in frustration and continue to pace. He really doesn't want to be in the hospital right then. Many pairs of eyes watch as he paces and he really wishes he'd just locked the stupid door.

He eventually goes to see a Healer. The Healer is a woman, middle aged and kind faced and introduces herself as Healer Archer. She talks to Freddie alone as first, she asks him lots of questions and he doesn't know how to answer them but does his best anyway, he feels uncomfortable and she doesn't seem to blink but she seems nice. She then talks to his parents for quite a long time.

And then Freddie's being admitted to the psych ward in St Mungo's.

* * *

He's not quite sure how to describe it. One day he'll talk to three different Healers, an anger management specialist, therapist and psychotherapists alike and then he'll be part of group discussions or group meetings with other people admitted to the hospital. He finds it worrying that most of them are his age, teenagers, the oldest is nineteen, the youngest fourteen.

Freddie wonders if the generation after theirs will be raised to not have to recover from their childhood. He avoids the group meetings however, he doesn't want to sit with people he can apparently relate to and who can apparently his recovery quicker. Instead he sits in his room, the small white room that's all one colour and that he can't decorate. He's in one of the 'baby-proofed rooms' due to him being admitted for extensive self-harm and possible suicidal tendencies, the furniture is al securely bolted to the ground with no hard corners or edges, the windows can't be opened, the bathroom is so basic it's scary.

Healer Archers, the woman who had firmly suggested the idea of him being admitted to the hospital in the first place, drags him to one of those stupid meetings though with the threat of contacting his parents and discussing an extension to his admittance. He reluctantly dresses, a plain white t-shirt and a dark red and black flannel shirt than he wears with the sleeves down and his favourite black skinny jeans.

He drags himself to the part of the ward where the meetings are usually held. He takes in a deep breath and reluctantly heads into the room. Freddie sighs and glances around and the other half a dozen or so teenagers milling about, some of them are chatting to one another or already seated in the rather comfy looking couches. He looks for an empty seat far away from any others when he has to a double take.

There's a girl there, well in truth there are several of them, but this one, there's something about her that Freddie can't help but stare at. She's beautiful, no doubt about it, a little on the short side, she's Asian, Freddie would hazard a guess at Japanese, with these piercing bright blue eyes that are shifting around the room, her hair is long and black and curly and she's dressed in clothes far too big for her as if she's trying to blend into the fabric of them.

They're soon called to gather and sat down and begin the discussions, Freddie watches the girl as she moves, no _shuffles_ , over to one of the couches away from the others. Freddie follows her trying to not look like he is in fact following her and sits down on the couch with her, not beside her but with her. She shots him a questioning glance and seems to retreat into the overlarge jumper she is wearing.

The discussions start normally, from idle chats to how school was, how friends and families are (the boy who has twenty tattoos talks about his cat for quite a while) and then they turn to the serious matters. Its simple – your name, why you were admitted, who admitted you and how you're feeling.

"My name's Eric, my er Mum admitted me, I got into you know those weird Muggle drugs like the powder you sniff up your nose? Pretty awesome like, man, the high was brilliant – er, anyway, yeah she admitted me when I was completely hooked and didn't go to school. And I'm good man, I'm good."

"My name's Kyle, I have a pretty severe eating disorder, my parents admitted me two months ago, I've been eating more normally which I'm happy about, so yeah, I'm happy."

"Hey, I'm Jess, I've tried to kill myself quite a times in the past, nothing to be proud of I know, my older brother found me one day in our bath because I'd made a dodgy potion and drank it, my family admitted me. I'm fine."

It goes on, from more cutters and teenagers who don't want to live to people who like the kicks and tingles drugs provide. Then its Freddie turns. The Healer in charge of the meeting, whose name Freddie doesn't know, smiles at him.

"Fred is it? This is your first meeting right?" He smiles at him likes he's a two year old and it irritates Freddie.

"Freddie," He corrects with a hard look, "And yeah, I unfortunately got dragged along," he sees a few smirks, from the cat guy to the skinny Kyle, "But yeah, I'm Freddie not Fred, my parents admitted me three weeks ago now I think mainly because my sort of brother found me slicing up my arms one day and told, but that's not all I've done, I've been drinking since I was thirteen and smoking anything I could get my hands on."

"And how are you feeling?" The Healer asks, a sweet smile on their face that is meant to be comforting.

Freddie's eyebrow twitches, "Right now I feel like a dog whose about to be passed a treat but other than that, foods shit, walls are boring and I really need to smoke and yeah, we're mentally fucked not mentally challenged."

Some of the group chuckles. The Healer doesn't look impressed. By the time the meeting is called to an end – Freddie realises he never learnt the pretty Asian girls name, nor did she say anything.

* * *

The canteen in the psych ward is very small but there's only a small group of patients there that Freddie doesn't really mind. He misses the Great Hall at Hogwarts though. He gathers his food as he usually does and watches as Kyle, with pursed lips and much clicking of his tongue, spends half an hour picking his food before he goes to sit down and eat. When he sees _her_. Alone at a table, oversized clothes once more.

Freddie moves and sits opposite her. She's picking at an apple in her hand and raises an eyebrow at him when he sits down. He can't read her expression.

"I'm Freddie." He offers.

"The we're mentally fucked not mentally challenged guy."

Her voice is soft but teasing which surprises Freddie, he honestly expected to just receive silence in response.

"Yeah," He smiles faintly, "That's me, and you are-"

"Imani."

"Imani," Freddie nods, "Got a last name with that?"

"Kasowara, you?"

"Weasley."

"I'm sorry."

He looks at her confused and she quickly elaborates, "That has to come with a lot of pressure, being in that family I mean."

"You have no idea." Freddie sighs.

Imani is silent for a moment, her bright blue eyes seem to pierce his for a moment, she rests her palms on the table, long slender fingers with bitten down nails, "Help me too."

For once, he doesn't tell himself it'll just be a onetime thing.

* * *

 _ **A/N So just a note, I don't agree with the use of racist slurs in the slightest but I felt it was important to add the issue of racism to this story to play on the idea that racism exists in the wizarding world. This chapter is a little shorter than the others but the next one will be longer as Imani is included more! Please review!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 _Chapter 4 – I will sing to you every day, if it will take away the pain, oh and I've heard you got it, got it so bad, cause I am the best you'll ever have, baby you were my picket fence_

Being with Imani is as easy as breathing. Freddie remembers Vic once saying to him that if you wanted to make a girl fall in love with you, you have to make her laugh – but each time Freddie hears her laugh, and unfortunately it's rare, he feels like he's the one falling in love. She wears baggy clothes that hide her slim figure and keeps the sleeves rolled down and they fall past her wrists, her hair is always long and curly with the ends dyed a bright colour, her eyes are always so bright but so _pained_.

She's beautiful. Without makeup or clothes that flatter her figure, she's beautiful. Freddie likes to see her smile, when they're sat in the cafeteria or in one of their rooms she shares smiles with him, small and tentative at first but the more they talk and the more he likes seeing the way her curly hair falls across her face when she looks down at her lap the more she shares smiles, brighter and with a flash of teeth, until she grins, and she laughs and tears are rolling from her eyes at two in the morning when they share secret laughs.

He doesn't do anything more though, he knows how he is with relationships, he cheats when he's in too deep and as many of his friends and cousins have said he is a heartbreaker. But there's something about Imani that makes him sure he'd never do something like that to hurt her. Her smile makes him feel as if he has no problems in the world, she was the colour yellow, she was the smell of newly cut grass, she was the smile that could make everything better, she was the sun resting on your face on a cold day, she was the nostalgia that came from rediscovering your favourite childhood toy and she'd throw everything away, just to see you smile. To see her smile.

But sometimes that warmth vanished, if his knee happened to touch hers in the middle of a long talk she'd flinch away and make sure not an inch of their body was touching. If Freddie's hand happened to brush hers her eyes would grow so wide he was always fearful she'd seen a _ghost_ , she'd wrap her arms around herself and retreat into the baggy clothes she wore, she'd hide behind her thick hair and Freddie wouldn't see her smile.

One night, he decides to ask about why she was admitted.

They're sat in Freddie's room and the suns just beginning to rise. She's sat on the poor excuse for a window ledge, her knees pulled to her chest and she's resting her chin on them. She gazes out at the window, at the light sky dappled with rain clouds, her bright eyes distant. Freddie's never seen someone so beautiful. He's sat on the bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him and he's watching her.

"Imani," He begins and she glances over at him, "Why are you here?"

She tilts her head at him, "You asked me to come here?" she says in a confused tone.

"No, not in my room," Freddie smiles and moves so he's leant against the wall next to the window ledge where she's sat, "Here, St Mungo's."

She tense but he expects it.

"Um," Imani stutters and looks away, "It's not important…"

"Bullshit." Freddie says flatly.

"Drop it."

"Please," Maybe there's something in his voice that makes Imani look at him, "You know why I'm here, so please tell me?"

She takes a deep breath and tells him everything. Freddie lets her speak and for a long time that's all she does, she speaks in soft voice that remains remarkably even. She talks for a full hour nearly, she tells him about her parents and her twin sister and her older sister, she tells him about her life in Japan, how her parents were murdered and she had to leave her home and live on the streets because her twin sister had vanished as had her older sister, abandoning Imani.

She tells him about the man she had met on the streets who had offered her a bed and food and a place to stay, but with a catch, a catch that she had to let these friends of this man do what they wanted with her. She tells him how she was young, naïve and didn't quite know what he had meant, so she had agreed. And so she had been raped.

She tells him no details and Freddie doesn't blame her, she tells him how she was there for over a year before she was mercifully able to escape, family friends helped her and sent her to England, where her older sister was. She tells him how she foolish to think that her sister would help, but all she did was send her to St Mungo's where she had been for two years now. Her sister had gone back to Japan.

Freddie stares at her for a moment when she finishes, she's still sat on the window but she's crying now. Freddie isn't sure what to say so he doesn't say anything, he moves over to her, slowly so she isn't scared, and hugs her tightly, she tense at first and quite badly at that but relaxes in his arms quickly. She buries her face in his shoulder and he can feel her breath on his neck, he can feel the ridge of her shoulder blade and the curve of her waist through her baggy clothes, she shakes as she cries but she feels warm.

Freddie is reminded of the times when he was younger when he comforted his little sister after a nightmare but the feelings he has towards Imani are anything but brotherly. As her cries still he kisses her forehead. She raises her head and her gaze meets his, blue eyes meet blue eyes and he's aware he's still holding her but makes no show to move.

"Why?" She asks simply.

"Because I think I'm hopelessly in love with you," Freddie admits, "And don't quote me on this but I'm pretty sure the comforting thing is what you're supposed to do in situations like this."

She smiles faintly, tears are tracking her cheeks. Freddie raises a hand and smooths his thumb across her cheek, it's the closest he's been to her without her flinching. Suddenly she presses her lips to his, he's surprised but kisses her back, her fingers tangle in his hair as his tongue moves over hers, his teeth tug on her lower lip. He kisses her until he forgets everything…and until they both need some air.

Freddie brushes his lips across hers one more time, he kisses her sweetly before pulling back and looking her in the eyes, a slight flush crosses her cheeks but she smiles, a true Imani smile. She doesn't say it back but he doesn't need her to, he knows.

* * *

If someone had told Freddie before he had gone to St Mungo's that he'd end up in a relationship with a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart who had been hurt in the worst ways possible he would have said he'd have told that person that they were the one who needed to stay in St Mungo's not him. And yet there he was, somehow inexplicably in a relationship with Imani whilst both patients at a psych ward.

Things go slowly but his time with Imani helps speed up the time Freddie has to spend in St Mungo's, her flinches become less and even at times she's the one who reaches for his hand and laces her fingers through his, at times she's the one who moves closer to him, curling into his side during one of their late night talks. He sees her change, grow, she isn't magically fixed (because unfortunately even in a world of magic that's _not_ possible) her clothes aren't as baggy and don't swamp her figure, her smiles appear more often and laughter bubbles from her lips more.

Freddie sees her come out of the shell she'd forced herself into.

Weeks later, in-between endless meetings with Healers Freddie finally finds himself with a free few hours, to be expected he chooses to spend it with Imani. They sit in her room, with the plain four white walls Freddie too has to suffer with and the rather uncomfortable bed. They lay on the bed together, Freddie taking up much of the space due to his height but Imani curls into his side quite easily, her head is on his shoulder, her hair fanning out across the pillow, she drapes her arm over his toned stomach, their legs tangled together.

Imani trails her fingers up and down his bare arm, across the scars that are marring his once smooth skin. Freddie glances down at his arm, he's gotten out of the habit of always wearing long sleeves, and his scars have begun to fade slightly which in a way saddens him, he misses making the scars and the sting of razor against his skin and the flow of blood down his forearms… He takes in a deep breath and tries to not think about that because he might freak out when he realises he can't cut.

"Are you okay?"

Freddie blinks and stares at Imani, her fingers are on his face, touching the slight frown marring his brow.

"Sorry, spaced out there," Freddie apologises, "You know ADHD."

Imani nods slightly but doesn't say anything. Freddie turns onto his side so that he's facing her, in the small space they're nose to nose and he can feel her breath against his face. He presses his lips to hers, he cups her hip in his palm and moves his palm down her jean clad leg, her slender fingers are playing with the hem of his shirt and slide under the fabric and brush across his skin there, across some of the scars there.

He feels a stab of panic and almost breaks the kiss, she knows of his cutting and knows of the scars but hasn't seen his bare torso and the scars decorating much of his skin there, no one has.

"Relax," He doesn't understand why she is the one soothing him in this _situation_ of all things but she is, "I'm not going to attack you."

Freddie chuckles slightly and feels himself relaxing, his lips move across hers once again, the kiss becomes more heated and his fingers are tangled in her soft, curly hair, her hands are cupping his face and tracing the line of his jaw. He worries that this is too much for her even though he is the one who has already panicked but she doesn't slow, the intensity of the kiss increases until Freddie feels his heart pounding against his chest and the heat of her skin and her pulse through her neck as he kisses her there.

She straddles him before he can blink but he doesn't complain, she presses her lips down on his, hard and he pushes himself up so that their chests are flush against one another's, the heat of her skin nearly burns him but he doesn't care. He's always played with fire. He slides his hands under her shirt and rests them on the small of her back, he grips her to him and holds her to his chest, his lips skilfully moving across her neck, kissing just under her jaw where she seems to be _quite_ receptive to his ministrations.

Freddie hooks his fingers around the hem of her shirt, he lifts his head and looks into her eyes, the blue being very bright, "Are you sure?" he breathes, he wants to make sure she doesn't regret this.

Her fingers are on his neck, he feels like her touch is sending jolts of electricity through him, it makes him feel _alive_. She nods, her chest rising and falling with her uneven breaths.

"I want to know what sex is _supposed_ to be like," Imani says, she kisses his jaw, "And I trust you to show me. I trust you. I love you."

It's the first time she's said it. He kisses her with a passion not even he can explain, they pull off each other's clothes in quick but uneasy movements, their desperation to keep their lips glued together makes pulling shirts over heads a difficult job, her skin is soft and smooth under his hands, but there's a scar on her shoulder, and one across her ribs, they mark her perfect skin with her horrible past.

Her black curls with purple ends are falling delicately over her naked shoulders as she kisses the corner of his mouth. More of their clothes fall to the ground. Freddie kisses her, he deepens the kiss by slipping his tongue past hers, his hands explore her body, he finds new scars but they don't ruin the perfection that Imani is to him. Her nails bite into the skin of his bare shoulders, her fingertips graze the scars decorating much of his torso, her hands caress his dark russet skin and her lips travel across his chest.

Imani's hair has fallen across her face, her blue eyes have darkened, her lips are pink and parted and her breath is warm against his skin. Freddie takes in a deep breath, he snakes his hand around her neck and pulls her face to his, he kisses her again as their last articles of clothing fall to the ground, he takes a hold of her hips and flips them so that her back is against the bed and he is lay over her, a small laugh bubbles through her lips, a beautiful sound in the dark room.

Freddie kisses the length of her neck and she arches her back against him, her soft warm chest pressing against his, he trails his hand down the side of her body, she hooks her leg around his hip and he feels like he's going to lose control as they fall into their own strange rhythm – a perfect way to describe their perfectly imperfect relationship.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck and she knots her fingers tightly through his thick hair. Freddie feels nothing but complete pleasure rock through his body with the most beautiful loss of control, hips bucking against one another, the clench of jaws, the intake of breath, convulsing muscles… Imani breathes against his ear her fingers playing with the ends of his too long hair.

Freddie props himself up on his elbows and looks down at her, her cheeks are flushed and her breathing laboured but she has never looked more beautiful. He kisses her forehead and catches a bead of sweat running down the smooth skin there, he feels warm and in need of a shower but he doesn't want to move. His kisses her, softly and sweetly.

"I love you," Freddie murmurs into her lips, "So much."

"I love you," Imani responds in that sweet, soft voice of her, so kind and warm, so true and gentle, "And thank you."

Freddie smiles, "Would it be inappropriate for me to say the same thing?"

She laughs and he finds it hard to remember the girl in baggy shirts who hid into the fabric of her clothes and flinched when his hand brushed against hers, the girl lay naked beneath him seems like a different person entirely. But he remembers that day in the cafeteria and how she had surprised him with her soft and teasing tone, she hid in a shell Freddie helped her out of. Not broke her out of because she was perfectly capable of saving herself from the dark, she just needed a little help.

Freddie kisses her yet again and he most _definitely_ doesn't tell himself that it'll be a onetime thing.

* * *

Teddy isn't really sure what to think when George asks him if he wants to go see Freddie with them at St Mungo's, Obviously his first instinct is that he wants to go, without a doubt, to see for himself that Freddie is possibly getting _better_ but he's wary at the same time, in case he isn't getting better and he's just as bad as he was when Teddy found him cutting himself.

Vic is the one who eventually convinces him to go with George, Angelina and Rox and even offers to go along with them, Teddy's more that grateful that his girlfriend is going to be there, he really needs her support right now. Though her condition for going to St Mungo's with him was for them to officially tell Bill they were dating – Teddy didn't really fancy being murdered by the Weasley.

Teddy manages to get a break off from work and heads to St Mungo's, the walls are as white as ever and all the Healers are dressed in brightly coloured robes and have kind smiles but look like they sprout out medical definitions every few seconds. It's stressing him out, the bright robes and white walls – if there was some _turquoise_ he'd be happy. Vic smiles brightly at him as he Disapparates in, her long blonde hair is held back in a braid and her baby blue eyes are very bright, she's stood with Rox who seems to have suddenly inherited the tall Weasley gene like her brother and grown a few feet in a matter of months.

"Hi," Victoire kisses him on the cheek in welcome having to stand on her tiptoes to reach of course, "You okay?"

Teddy forces a tight smile and nods, he wraps his arm around her waist, "I'm good," he glances over at Roxanne, "You okay Rox?"

"Anxious to see him," She's rocking back and forth on her heels, "Like _really_ anxious."

"Where are your parents?" Teddy questions.

"Talking to one of the Healer's," Rox replies, "Healer Archer, the one who admitted him remember?"

"Probably deciding whether we can actually visit him." Teddy theorises. _Ever a Ravenclaw_ , he thinks mentally.

Vic nods in agreement. They wait a few moments, growing more anxious with each passing moment before George and Ange finally make a reappearance, the kind faced Healer Teddy remembers seeing when Freddie was first admitted following them.

"We can go see him now," George informs them, "He doesn't know we're here."

"That'll go well." Teddy murmurs under his breath sarcastically.

"You've spent too much time around my brother if you're this sarcastic." Roxanne responds before swiftly following after her parents.

They head further into the psych ward of St Mungo's, the walls get whiter and less talking portraits are decorating the walls and Teddy can just imagine how much Freddie hates how plain the corridors are. They see an odd few people around the corridors, teenagers with tattoos and too skinny to be healthy, with long sleeves like Freddie and bags under their eyes from lack of sleep.

"He's in the cafeteria," Healer Archer informs the group, "With a few friends."

Rox and Vic exchange a glance at this and Teddy can't blame them for being surprised, he wouldn't have expected Freddie to make friends in the psych ward, he wouldn't have expected _anyone_ to make friends in the psych ward. The Healer turns into a doorway of a room where there seems to be a fair amount of noise coming from, the small group follow her, George and Angelina in the lead.

Teddy adds just a little length to his already fairly long legs so that he can see into the room, it's a fairly plain room with several tables around the place and more Healers than patients milling around the room. It takes him a moment to spot Freddie but he stands out with his dark skin and dark hair, Teddy is surprised beyond belief however because he's _smiling_. He hasn't seen Freddie smile in years.

But it's not just a smile, it's a grin, it's a laugh, it's a bright light in his eyes, it's a face free from the dark circles of tiredness or the frown of anger, it's the face of a teenager with friends. Teddy glances over at Vic who is grinning widely. He looks back to his oldest friend, Freddie is sat with a few people, a boy with shaggy blonde hair and the body mass of a new-born from the looks of it, a huge bulking teenager with a shaved head and so many tattoos that Teddy was actually a little jealous even though he likes his tattoo of the lunar cycle on his back, there was a girl sat with him as well.

She was very pretty, Teddy couldn't deny that, her hair was long and fell into curls to her waist with the ends dyed a dark purple (a colour Teddy's hair turned to without thinking about it) her skin was a pale ivory shade with piercing blue eyes, she was laughing as well but Teddy couldn't help but notice how she was sat with Freddie, his arm looped around her waist, her hand on his knee.

"Oh I so want to meet Freddie's girlfriend." Rox was grinning an almost feral grin before she headed into the room.

* * *

Freddie has to admit that it wasn't perhaps the best thing to laugh about, but Eric's story on how his Mum found him with nearly two pounds of crack over his face and tried to pass it off as sherbet was beyond _amusing_ , he would love to sit in the cafeteria all day with friends but he had a meeting with one of the Healers he had to go to soon. He spares a glance to the door in a way expecting his Healer to be standing there telling him he was late _again_ but there was no Healer.

A grin stretches across his face when he spots his baby sister - who appears to have grown quite a bit since he had been admitted – walking across the room towards him. He stands and moves towards Rox and pulls her into a bone crushing hug, he lifts her off her feet as she hugs him back just as tightly burying her face in his shoulder as she always does.

"I've missed you Freddie." She murmurs into his ear.

"Missed you too Roxie." Freddie is grinning from ear to ear, he's really missed his sister.

She pulls back from him and he ruffles her hair, a smirk on his face, "Since when did you get so tall?"

"Why? Scared I'm gonna beat you ass at being the tallest Weasley?" She playfully nudges him.

Freddie laughs, "Definitely not."

He's only just about gotten over his surprise at seeing his sister in the psych ward before he sees the rest of the group in the doorway, Vic rushes forward and hugs him tightly her blonde braid whipping him in the face but Freddie doesn't mind. His Mother hugs him just as tightly as does his Father and then Teddy's stood there, and Freddie can't help but smirk when he sees the purple tint to his usually bright blue hair.

"You all right Freddie?" Teddy asks him, he glances at the scars on his arms that are on show for once, marring the brown skin in white lines from his wrists and vanishing under the sleeves of his shirt.

"Yeah," Freddie nods and smiles, "I'm good, now are you going to hug me or do I need to rugby tackle you?"

Teddy laughs at that and visibly relaxes before pulling Freddie into a tight hug, "I've missed you Freddie."

"Well, I am just that loveable." Freddie responds to which Teddy just laughs.

* * *

 _ **A/N So another chapter is here! Quite a bit of Imani and Freddie fluff because who can resist fluff? So Freddie seems to be getting better...how long will it last though? Please review! Next chapter should be up soon!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 _Chapter 5 - How cruel is the golden rule?_

"I'll see you later okay?" Freddie touches Imani cheek with his fingertips, his family are a little way away waiting for him, he sees his sister smirking and ignores her.

"I'm sure I can cope without you for a few hours." Imani smiles.

"Well you can _try_ to," Freddie teases to which Imani rolls her eyes, he places his hands on either side of her waist, "I am great company to have."

"Wow, arrogant and sarcastic," Imani says in a dry voice, "How attractive."

Freddie chuckles and kisses her lightly, he likes it when her teasing nature comes through. He finds it weird to be saying goodbye to Imani even if it's only for a few hours, he's been so used to having her around most the hours of the day, spending away his spare time between meetings with Imani by his side, she's been his anchor through it all, that little light through the darkness he loved so much and there's a part of him that worries about what will happen when he's not around her even if it's only for a few short hours.

Imani breaks the kiss eventually, "Go spend time with your family, "she says," Before your sister forcibly separates us."

Freddie grimaces, "That is something she would do as well."

Imani smiles and pushes a lock of hair behind her hair, "I don't doubt that."

Freddie leans down and kisses her cheeks, "Love you." He says before turning away from her and heading over to his family. Roxanne is still smirking at him when he re-joins his family, Freddie only rolls her eyes at her and slings his arm around his baby sister's shoulders.

"I'm still concerned about how tall you are." He says to her with a smirk of his own.

Rox rolls her eyes, "Deal with it Freddie."

* * *

Freddie sits in Healer Archers office, it isn't the first time but it's the first time there's so many of them sat in the office. He's sat in the seat he usually occupies, by the window so that if his ADHD makes an unexpected appearance he can stare blankly out of the window without being caught. His Dad is sat beside him, his Mum beside him and then Roxanne, Teddy and Vic are alone standing looking a little uncomfortable.

Healer Archers is smiling as kindly as she always does. Freddie makes an effort to try and focus on what she's saying, he knows this is a review meeting and knows that it's important, it could lead to him staying in St Mungo's for longer or leaving rather soon.

"Freddie's been doing very well during his stay here," Healer Archer says, "Very well," she looks down at his folder she has in her hands, "We had some trouble at the beginning though…"

Freddie cringes.

"What type of trouble?" His Dad questions.

"Getting him to go to meetings was a seemingly impossible task," Healer Archer replies, "For the first few weeks he was next to reclusive, he wouldn't attend one to one or group meetings and more often or not he'd make great escapes out of windows to smoke…"

Freddie cringes again as both of his parents look at him.

"In my defence, those group meetings are awful." Freddie holds his hands up.

"Though once we reminded him that if he continued to skip meetings we would extend his stay he started attending them," Healer Archer continues, "Most Healers noted that his responses in discussions were either mostly sarcastic comments or subtle jibes to offend, we struggled immensely at first to make any real progress and if I'm honest quite a few of us were worried his admittance would become permanent…"

Freddie's eyebrows shot up at that and he glances around the room to see that everyone else looks to be in the same amount of shock as he is in.

"Though of course that didn't happen," Healer Archer smiles gently, "Freddie made a drastic improvement a few weeks into his stay and I think it's safe to say that's down to Miss Kasowara?"

Freddie knows his sister is smirking at him even though he isn't looking at her.

"Well, if you _want_ to big her ego up more then sure, we can say that…" Freddie smirks.

Healer Archer rolls her eyes, "Well, there's not much else to say, he talks a lot more in meetings now, we've made a lot of improvement especially with issues really troubling him and leading to the self-harm, drug abuse and dependency, suicidal tendencies…that sort of thing, we're very happy with how he's improved and we think he'll be ready to leave any day now."

Freddie blinks at that and tries not to let his happiness show too much, "I can leave?"

"Don't sound too excited Freddie." Teddy comments with a smirk.

"The food is shit here." Freddie says in a dead serious tone of voice.

Healer Archer ignores their interaction, "Yes Freddie, you can leave."

* * *

They talked for a while longer, with Healer Archer going into detail about a lot of things, mostly what they'd discussed in sessions. It all made Freddie a little uncomfortable, after all he saw it all as private things that he didn't really want everyone knowing but eventually Healer Archer was saying they could leave and that Freddie could return to the canteen.

He leaves the office after his parents, he knows his family are returning home but will be back the next day because Freddie is leaving the next day. He's thinking of what to say to say to them – does he say goodbye even though he's seeing them all tomorrow? – when he catches a sight of Eric, stood by the doorway, nursing bruised knuckles.

"Hey man," Freddie greets him, "Who'd you punch?"

Eric grins, "That predictable am I?"

Freddie leans against the wall next to him and chuckles a little, "Just a tad," he admits, "So who was it?"

"Mike," Eric scowls a bit, "You know, the dick everyone hates."

"Yeah," Freddie scratches his chin, "He tried to get me the first day, needless to say that failed."

Eric laughs as Teddy rolls his eyes, "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because its Freddie?" Eric offers.

Teddy grins, "Sounds about right, I'm Teddy by the way."

Eric returns the grin, "Eric."

Freddie spaces out as the pair share a few more words, politely talking to one another (something Freddie thinks is really rare for Teddy and Eric) and he finds himself staring at the opposite wall and he also finds himself thinking about Imani.

"Hey, Freddie?"

Freddie blinks, his sister is stood in front of him. Eric has gone and Teddy is stood with Victoire, his arms around her waist as he presses a light kiss to her nose.

"Yeah?" Freddie smiles at Rox.

"We're leaving now," Rox says, "But we'll be back tomorrow morning, well me, Mum and Dad will."

"Look forward to it."

"Better do." Roxanne smirks before she hugs him tightly.

Freddie smiles and returns the hug, he pulls away after a few moments, says goodbye to his parents, Ted and Vic and he watches them walk away, out of the psych ward and out of sight. He thinks of how he will be with them tomorrow, leaving at last and all he thinks is, is it for the best?

* * *

After a few more group sessions, or in this case his last few sessions, Freddie finally finds himself in the room he feels best in, with the person he always wants to see most – _Imani_.

They lie on her bed, their legs tangled together, her head is under his chin and he has his arms around her. Freddie listens to her breathing, her breaths slow and peaceful as she lies against him half asleep, the only thing she is wearing is his shirt. The white cover is loosely draped over them.

"Im?" Freddie says quietly, he passes his fingers through her hair.

"What?" Imani replies in a groggy voice.

Freddie smiles a small bit but hesitates, perhaps she notices because she shifts so that she is looking at him, propped up on one elbow, the smooth skin of her shoulder exposed.

"What is is?" Imani looks at him in concern.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

Imani stares at him, she blinks once, then twice then grins, "That's great!" she exclaims and kisses him then, with her hand on his face she frowns, "Isn't it?"

"I don't want to leave you." Freddie admits.

Imani smiles softly, "I'll be okay."

Freddie props himself up as well, "Will you?"

"I can take care of myself you know," Imani raises an eyebrow, "I don't need you to take care of me."

"No, Im, I didn't mean," Freddie says hurriedly, "I just – just…"

He's not sure how to word it, or ever what he's trying to word. But Imani seems to understand.

"You're worried you won't be okay." She states and he silently nods.

Imani suddenly moves, pushing him back so that he is lay on his back and that she is straddling him. He doesn't complain – he is a teenage boy after all – but he raises an eyebrow at her.

"You'll be fine," Imani says with heavy emphasis, she leans forward and rests her palms on his shoulders, her hair falls in her face and her eyes are very bright, "I know you will be, just because you won't be surrounded by Healers doesn't mean you won't be okay."

"But what if-"

"What if what?" Imani interrupts him, "You smoke? You cut?"

Freddie silently nods.

"Then you'll talk to someone, you'll talk to your parents or your sister or an Uncle or a Healer, you'll talk."

Freddie bites his lip, he wants to believe her but he doesn't have that much faith in himself to be sensible if her does slip up. He finds he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Listen," Freddie places his hands on her hips, "Lets stop talking shall we?"

Imani tilts her head at him and as she does Freddie sees a hickey on her neck he left there, he moves his hands to her waist and pulls her to his chest and presses his lips soundly to hers. They say no more words for the rest of the night, and only a few in the morning when Freddie realises he is twenty minutes late to meet his family.

And then he's leaving.

* * *

He sits with his quill beneath his teeth and about a million rolls of parchment in front of him. He's missed nearly three months of school and only has three months left at Hogwarts, he has three months left until he's leaving the safety of the castle's walls and is supposed to know what the _hell_ he is doing with his life.

It's stressing him out, that's for sure.

"Hey Freddie," Vic gracefully sits in the seat opposite from him, "Catch up work still?"

Freddie only makes a noise of confirmation in reply, he's bad at organising things and is struggling to look for the works he's supposed to be doing. And he's in the library, which is a place he hates with a passion – it's just too _quiet_.

He spits his quill out on the table and Vic gives him a disgusted look.

"Ew." She simply says.

"Love you too," Freddie says sarcastically, he runs his fingers through his hair for about the twentieth time in the past minute alone.

Vic smiles and pats him on the head, his hair is a lot more out of control that usual, "Stop stressing yourself out, kiddo."

"Two months older than me, Vic, two months," Freddie murmurs, he picks up his quill again, "And me and stress are going hand in hand nowadays."

His cousin looks concerned.

Freddie sighs, "Just stressing out trying to catch up on work, I'll be okay."

"You sure?" Victoire presses.

Freddie forces a smile, he's tired and worn out and would rather slit his wrists then read anything else about _fucking_ goblin wars, "I'm sure."

"Okay," Vic doesn't look convinced, she glances at her watch and stands up, "Crap, gotta go, I'm on rounds tonight," she adds, she was Head Girl after all, "Some jerks are throwing a party in the Ravenclaw house tonight, probably going to have to pick up stragglers from it for most the night."

"Have fun." Freddie smirks.

"Will do." Vic rolls her eyes and leaves the library.

Freddie tries to focus back on his work, he tries to engage himself in the nineteen Transfiguration essays he has to complete but he can't. His thoughts are on other things. Imani for one of them – being away from his girlfriend is like a painful ache in his heart, his family another, he was home for a few weeks before returning back to Hogwarts (the cover being he was ill and not in the psych ward at St Mungo's) and saw every relative he had at least three times.

His Grandmother made him go to the Burrow every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday so that she could see him and feed him some 'proper food' as she said, she hovered around him like mad and it wasn't until his Mum and Fleur had a quiet word with her that she backed off a little. He saw Lee several times and Oliver and though it was nice seeing all his family, being reunited with his sister and his cousin everyone was _off_ with him.

Rox may have laughed with him and Teddy joked with him and he and Dom listened to _Fall Out Boy_ and _My Chemical Romance_ and he and Charlie may have shared their little inside jibes towards other relatives but still, without fail, they'd lay their hand on his arm, shoulder or hand, smile sadly and ask him how he was feeling. He expected it at first, for the first few days the hugs, the tears, the constant pats on shoulders was something he expected but after two weeks – he honestly felt like throwing himself out of a window.

Freddie sighs and drops his head down onto the table. He feels as if he'll just always be the relative who was ' _messed up_ ' for a few years and needed help. He hates that he feels like he won't ever escape it. He hates that everyone is acting so weird around him. He hates it. Freddie absentmindedly traces the scars on his forearms, he's wearing a band tee with short sleeves.

"Fuck it." Freddie declares suddenly and stands up.

He leaves the library without a care in the world, he heads to his dorm in the Slytherin Common Room and doesn't even care that he left behind all of his work. His dorm is empty but he doesn't notice this, he goes to his trunk, roots through it until he finds what he is looking for. A shit with _long sleeves_. He pulls of his band tee and tosses it on his bed before he pulls on the long sleeves shirt, he makes sure the sleeves are rolled down and that his scars are covered. _His_ scars. _His_.

Freddie runs his fingers through his hair and starts to pace. Vic said there was a party…but he wasn't drinking anymore, he'd damaged his liver after all, drinking was a risk, but he likes risks…

" _Get it together Freddie, get it together,_ " His fingers are tightly knotted in his hair.

He paces, he paces until his feet ache, he paces until he gives up and leaves his dorm again.

As he makes his way to the Ravenclaw tower, he tells himself that it'll just be a onetime thing.

* * *

He forgets how he's missed the sting of Firewhiskey, the bitter, sharp taste of vodka, the frothiness of beer, he likes the different tastes of the beer, the different textures, the ciders all blur together after several shots and he's losing track of what he's drinking and how much he's drinking. At first he was keeping an eye out for anyone he knew, like his cousins or his friends, but now he doesn't care.

He forgets about work, he forgets about the stress of being the Weasley-who-is-messed-up, he forgets about it all, he forgets about everything but _her_ – Imani. He puts down his drink, resolves to go back to his dorm before he does something he'll regret and stumbles away. His eyesight is blurry, the music is loud, his head pounds and he can't put one foot in front of the other very well.

It's a little cold in the corridor outside the Common Room, but it always is in Hogwarts, he pauses for a moment and thinks, he tries to remember the way back to his Common Room. His mind is hazy though.

"Freddie?"

He blinks and sees the blurred figure of a girl in front of him, she's pale with dark, flowing hair.

"Imani?" His heart jumps.

"Need help back to your Common Room?" The girls laughs softly.

"Maybe." Freddie wheedled out.

The girl laughs again, "I'll help you," she says and takes his hand, "Come on."

"Thanks Imani." Freddie stumbles against.

She's small against his side, her hand is a little calloused, not soft which is odd, and she smells odd, all flowery and strong and _weird_ … She pulls him down the corridor and suddenly it's a lot dark.

"Passageway?" Freddie slurs.

"Yeah, passageway," The girl laughs yet again, "Let's stop for a moment?"

"Okay." Freddie gladly leans against the wall.

He blinks and tries to see her through the dark but he can barely see her, he feels hands on him suddenly, fingers under his shirt and across his stomach, then on the zipper of his jeans… He frowns.

"Imani?" He slurs heavily, "What you doing?"

"Shush," The girls says, "It's okay," suddenly she falls silent, "Thank fuck Jarred, I didn't know it was you!"

"Jarred?" The name is a little familiar to Freddie but he doesn't know why. He feels like he's heard it before and not in a good way.

"Yeah, yeah," The boy, Jarred, says, "Merlin, he's out of it isn't he?"

Hands were still on him, still on his skin. Freddie tries to push them away but he doesn't have the coordination to.

"Yeah," the girl laughs but her laugh sends chills down his spine, "Found him stumbling around, friend of Lupin's I think?"

"Yeah, a friend of that _freak_ ," Jarred says harshly, "Still nice looking though this one is, for a n*****."

Freddie's head is spinning and he doesn't know what's going on, just that he wants to leave. More hands on him. His shirt has been pulled off.

"No," Freddie shakes his head and pushes out, he knocks a hand away, "No…"

There's a sharp pain in his side suddenly, someone has hit him. He slips down the wall then lips are on his, someone is kissing him. Hands are still on his skin, all over him. Lips are on his neck. He thinks of Imani but knows it isn't her. He feels uncomfortable, he feels scared. His head pounds.

"Give him the sleeping potion," The girl murmurs, "It'll make this easier."

He feels something pressed against his mouth, and a warm liquid is in his mouth – he recognises it as a sleeping drought, he swallows it without thinking and within moments he feels sleep overtaking him.

* * *

When Freddie wakes, he is aware of only two things, he has a killed headache and that he is missing all his clothes. He groans and slowly rolls over, he tries to remember what happened the night before but he struggles, he remembers leaving the Common Room and running into Imani…no, he frowns, that can't be right, Imani isn't at Hogwarts…

There is a soft groan beside him then a low laugh, "Morning."

He jumps out of his skin and sits bolt up, it is not Imani next to him, or even a girl, but a _guy_. A smirking guy, a guy with soft dark hair, grey eyes, dimples and a smirk. A guy Freddie recognises as Jarred James, as a guy he hates, a guy who he knows (but doesn't know how) was a root of lots of Teddy's problems. He's also, without any clothes.

"What – what are you doing here?" Freddie stutters, he's in his dorm, in his bed, with _Jarred_.

"Getting a bit of nice revenge," Jarred drawls, he sits up and leisurely stretches, "Your friend Lupin nearly got me expelled…"

Freddie stares at him, he's feeling pain a lot more now, but not just from his head but all _over_ … he dares to glance down and his breath hitches in his throat. His chest is slick with bruises.

"What did you do to me?" Freddie whispers.

"Nothing you didn't want," Jarred touches his cheek and grins when Freddie moves away from him, "Aren't I right Mai?"

"Oh yeah," A voice says and Freddie jumps, he turns and sees a girl, pale with long flowing hair lay on his other hand, without clothes and smoking a cigarette, she smirks at him, "He wanted it."

Memories flash dimly through his mind, he recognises her voice, he remembers her strong flowery smell… He remembers their hands on him, he remember them saying something…

"You drugged me," Freddie says in a horrified voice and he feels like he may throw up, "You-you…"

"You wanted it," The girl, Mai, grins at him, her makeup is smudged across her face, "You know you did."

"I didn't." Freddie protests.

"Please," Jarred rolls his eyes, "You were just drunk, we didn't drug you."

"You did." Freddie says, but he sounds unsure, even to himself.

He _was_ drunk, he was so drunk he couldn't find his way back to his own Common Room, he was _very_ drunk, a few times before he had slept with girls drunk but he didn't like guys. He takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes. He didn't _want_ it. Painfully, he thinks of Imani. Did he cheat on her?

"We'll do this again sometimes," Mai kisses his cheek, "It was nice."

Jarred has stood and is dressing. Mai does the same. Freddie doesn't feel like he ever wants to move again. Soon, the pair are leaving as if nothing happened. And Freddie can't decide if he did want it or if he didn't.

* * *

 _ **A/N So Freddie got out of St Mungo's - yay! Then shit hit the fan really at Hogwarts? Jarred and his role will be explained more in the next chapter which should be updated pretty soon - fingers crossed! So things went very dark towards the end of this chapter for Freddie, I didn't want to go into too much detail so that I didn't trigger any readers, but I wanted to show the realism of that these type of things do happen and that intoxicated people are, unfortunately, often and taken advantage of and due to Freddie's past mental health issues this event is very fuck so going to damage him. Did warn that there was no happy ending at the beginning! Please review!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not me_

* * *

 _Chapter 6 - I'm in the details with the devil, so now the world can never get me on my level_

By the time Easter holidays roll around, Freddie has caught up with his work. He's gone to no more parties, he's just sat in the library every day completely work, catching up, focusing on everything and anything but what happened that _night_. When he thinks about it, he throws up, he feels like crying and has to hold it in and try to act like he's okay, that he's fine, that he doesn't have to see Mai and Jarred every day, smirking at him.

He was drunk, but does that mean he wanted it or not? He can never decide.

Freddie sits on the train, in one of the cabins with Vic, James and Albus. The rest of their cousins are elsewhere on the train, they're all going home for the few week long holiday. Freddie has claimed one of the corners by the window and with his earphones in has rested his head against the window and is trying to sleep. He hasn't sleep for weeks.

Freddie pauses his music for a moment and catches a snatch of what James is saying, "…that guy in his year, Jarred I think it is, seemed to be bothering him the other day…"

Freddie tries not to tense, he tries to maintain the illusion that he is asleep. If they worry about him more he'll be back in St Mungo's before he can blink…

"Wait what?" Vic suddenly demands.

"Like I said, this guy Jarred," James says impatiently, "He was talking to Freddie the other day, I saw them, he looked really bothered by what he was saying…"

"Did you hear what they were talking about?" Victoire demands, an edge to her voice.

Freddie swallows. _She knows I cheated on Imani_ , he thinks in a panic _, she knows_.

"No," James say, "Why?"

"Doesn't matter." Vic says quickly.

Freddie doesn't hear Vic speak again. He plays his music again and eventually, manages to doze off.

* * *

Vic is ready to launch herself at Freddie, shake him awake and demand to know what that _bastard_ Jarred did to him, or said to him. That absolute _bastard_ who was the main reason to driving Teddy to madness and causing him to hurt himself and needing therapy, and now, _now_ , he'd gone after her cousin. Her dear, Freddie, who had already been hurt so much and had only just gotten better.

Vic taps her foot impatiently when the train pulls into the station. She needs to talk to Teddy, and quickly, if Jarred has messed with Freddie (Merlin she hopes he hasn't) Teddy is the only one who could talk to him about it.

"Wake Freddie up, will you?" Vic stands and says to James and Al.

"Uh – sure." Al says but Vic is already leaving.

She hurries through the crowd of students, dragging her trunk behind her, she manages to get off the train and quickly looks for Teddy. The part-Veela grins when she sees his blue hair, she rushes over to him and throws her arms around him, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"Vic," Teddy's voice is full of happiness as he hugs her back just a tightly, "I'm so happy to see you!"

Vic laughs and pulls back to press a kiss to his lips, "Same," she smiles, she moves over and hugs her parents, kissing her Mother's cheeks.

"School okay?" Bill asks her.

"Yeah," Vic nods brightly, "Been great."

She shoots Teddy a significant glance, Teddy notices easily and takes a hold of her hand pulling her a little way away from their family. The other kids have joined them and are being greeted happily by the others, Vic see Freddie hugging his Mother, but there's something off about him.

"What's wrong?" Teddy asks Vic in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine," Victoire assures him quickly, "When we were on the train though," she continues carefully, "Me and James were talking, he mentioned something about seeing Jarred and Freddie talking…"

Teddy's hair darkens.

"He said he seemed bothered by it," Vic continues, "And I'm worried about him, I've barely seen him, I know he's been busy catching up with work but I think something's wrong…"

"You think Jarred got to him like he got to me?" Teddy guesses.

Vic silently nods.

Teddy sighs and ran a hand through his hair, it's a very dark blue, nearly purple, "I'll talk to him okay? Hopefully it's nothing bad…"

He sounds unsure and Vic shares his concern. She knows how bad Jarred can be.

* * *

Teddy discovered quite quickly trying to talk to Freddie was an impossible task, they were all at the Burrow and it was mayhem, lots of people were moving about making food and talking as their family usually did. Teddy tried to find a spare moment to catch Freddie alone and talk to him for a moment but he was always talking to someone, but he was so _off_.

He decided that he wasn't going to make the mistake he made last time. That's how he finds himself approaching George.

"Mind if I have a word?" He asks him.

"Sure," George replies, Percy moves off to give them some space, once his brother is gone George looks at Teddy, "What's wrong?"

Teddy hesitates, he's not sure how to start but he supposes explaining is the easiest way, "You remember when I needed that therapy for a while?" he begins and cringes at his own bad choice of words, "Well, I know Harry and Ginny never told anyone why, but it was because this guy, at school in Freddie and Vic's year, well he's a complete dick if I'm honest, but I uh hooked up with him once and really he made my life a living hell from that point on, drove me mad with all the shit he pulled because he didn't understand the point of no strings attached…"

George raises his eyebrows, "And you're telling me this why?" he questions.

Teddy is very relieved he doesn't judge him on the fact he slept with a guy, though he'd never expect George to judge on something like that when he's such an easy going person, he hesitates.

"I think he's bothering Freddie," Teddy says, "Or at least Vic does, she said James said she saw him bothering him…"  
George's eyes darkens, "You think it'll be something bad as well don't you?" he asks.

Teddy knows instantly that George has noticed how off Freddie is as well, he nods slowly, "Very bad, _very_ bad."

* * *

"Freddie?"

There's a knock at the door, Freddie glances up at the door, he's been busy unpacking.

"Uh – yeah?"

His Father enters the room and behind him is Teddy.

Freddie frowns and pauses, a few jumpers in his hand, "What's going on?" he asks in a confused voice.

"We need to talk Freddie," Teddy sighs, George shuts the door, "And we all know you're not going to come talk to us, we've learnt from last time."

Freddie is a little tense, his heart is beating quickly, "Oh, uh okay," he says, an edge to his voice, "What about?"

"Jarred." Teddy replies.

Freddie completely tenses without wanting to. He gulps and quickly turns and stuffs the jumpers into one of the drawers, he wants them to leave, he wants them to go.

"Freddie," George says, and his Father's voice is gently but firm, "You need to talk to us about him? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing." Freddie answers, its true, he didn't say anything…

"Bullshit." Teddy crosses his arms.

"Drop it will you?" Freddie suddenly snaps at him.

"Freddie." George says sternly.

"Its nothing," Freddie hears the break in his own voice, "Really, its not…"

Freddie tries to focus on unpacking, he tries to fold a few shirts but his hands are shaking, he tries to open the drawer but suddenly he feels like his whole body is shaking. He takes in a sharp breath and shuts his eyes, resting his hands on the desk of drawers. He hears someone walk over to him.

"Freddie," Teddy says quietly, he rests his hand on his shoulder, "What did he…what did he _do_ to you?"

"I went to a party," Freddie says in a barely audible voice, "I got really drunk, _really_ drunk, I left on my own and this girl," he shuts his eyes, "I thought it was Imani, I thought she was helping me, but she took me to a random corridor instead…and then he appeared and I didn't know what was going on, she – she was kissing me and kept touching me and I tried to push them away and he hit me and then they – they made me take a sleeping potion…"

"Oh Merlin." Teddy breathes. He looks completely horrified.

"I woke up and they were both there, he said I wanted it." Freddie concludes quietly.

"I can tell you now that's not true," George suddenly says, very firmly, he moves and stands on Freddie's other side, "They took advantage of you Freddie."

Freddie glances up at them, they both look furious but seem to be trying to hide his anger, for his sake. Freddie feels sick to his stomach.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

George furiously shakes his head and pulls him into a tight hug, "Don't for a second think that is your fault, don't you dare," he says firmly, "This wasn't your fault."

And all Freddie does is cry. He only wishes he could tell himself it'd be that onetime.

* * *

George is beginning to feel like the Burrow is haunted, not haunted by his twin, Fred (because if it was they'd have found out _long_ ago) but by memories. Memories that seem to keep on happening.

He senses that Freddie really doesn't want to be around people then, when he's in such a state especially, as Teddy ventures downstairs George takes him to his and Angelina's room. His son is shaking, badly at that.

"Sit down, kid," George says to him as he shuts the bedroom door, Freddie doesn't move, "Freddie?"

Freddie glances up at him, there are dark circles around his eyes, he carefully sits down on the bed.

"When did you last sleep?" George asks in a concerned voice.

"Um," Freddie stutters, "I'm not sure," he admits after a pause, "A while…"

George nods slowly, "Since it happened?" he guesses, in a gentle voice.

His son tenses and after a moment nods. George sighs deeply and sits down beside him on the bed, putting an arm around Freddie. He begins to feel like an awful Father, he sent him back to school only for _this_ to happen. He'd promised him he wouldn't let anyone hurt him again and that's all what happened. Freddie sniffs and rests his head on George's shoulder and as he does, he winces a little.

George frowns, "You okay?"

"What do you think?" Freddie replies quietly.

"No kid, you winced," George says gently, he pauses, "You never got healed did you?"

Very slowly, Freddie shakes his head.

"We're going St Mungo's then," George declares and stands, "You need to be healed."

"Please don't send me back there," Freddie pleads, "I only just got out, I don't want to go back."

"You need to be healed," George says firmly, "And talking to Healer Archer might help," he thinks for a moment, "Actually, you can talk to Imani…"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I cheated on her." Freddie replies.

George places his hands on his shoulders, "Listen to me Freddie, that wasn't cheating, it wasn't _consensual_ , you didn't want to do it, you said no and they took advantage of you because you were drunk, now, let me get your Mum and we'll go St Mungo's okay?"

"Okay." Freddie murmurs quietly.

* * *

Imani is more than a little surprised, and _irritated_ , when she's being woke at three in the morning. It's dark in her room and she's just about to throw something at the person who woke her up when-

"Imani?"

"Healer Archer?" Imani says in a confused voice, she sits up and rubs her eyes, "What are you doing here?"

She doesn't answer, "Come with me dear."

She heads out of the room, leaving the door ajar so that the light from the corridor fills the small room. Imani is confused but complies, she stands and quickly changes into a pair of black leggings and one of Freddie's shirts which he left for her. She pauses for a moment and fingers the fabric, it still smells of him. She smiles a little and heads out of her room to meet Healer Archer.

"What's going on?" Imani questions.

"Freddie's here." The kind faced Healer says.

"He's what?" Imani blinks, "Please tell me he hasn't been re-admitted…"

"He was hurt."

" _Hurt_?" Imani demands, "Who hurt him?" _Because I am one second away from cursing the bastard…_

"His Father will tell you, I'm sure, he asked for you to see him."

Imani is a little taken aback but touched but that. She nods.

Healer Archer leads her out of the psych ward and to the ward where Freddie is, she sees his parents stood outside one of the rooms. She's only briefly seen them once before, Imani notes that George and Freddie are very similar except for different skin tones, they have the same eyes, build and face. But Freddie has Angelina's smile.

"I'll leave you three." Healer Archer says before leaving.

Imani looks curiously at George and Angelina, waiting to hear what has happened. She feels like she might throw up.

"Thanks for coming Imani." George sighs.

Imani can't help but note that he looks older and tired than he is, she knows from Freddie than he and Angelina had him when they were in their early twenties but right then he looks like he could be in his mid fifties. Imai frowns.

"What's going on?" Imani asks in a concerned voice, "What happened to Freddie?"

"He was hurt," Angelina says in a remarkably even voice, "Really badly," she looks tired as well, "By some people at school…"

"What happened?" Imani demands.

"We think he was…" George takes a deep breath.

"He was what?" Imani presses, but not unkindly.

And then he says a word Imani has come to hate hearing over the years at St Mungo's, " _Raped_."

* * *

Freddie feels like he might either cry, laugh or completely break down for the second time that day when Imani suddenly, without knocking or any warning, heads into the room he's sat in. She's wearing one of his shirts that's hanging off one of her shoulders, her hair is a tangle of curls falling around her face and her eyes are very bright.

He gulps. He's waiting for her to scream at him, to break up with him because he cheated on her. He doesn't think he can handle that. But then she moves over to him and wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. She's stood between his legs, her head resting on top of his and his head is lay against her chest and he can hear her heartbeat.

Freddie takes a shaky breath. He forgot how he loves her smell, how he loves the feeling of her slender fingers running through the ends of his hair, he forgot how he _loves_ her.

"It wasn't your fault," Imani says gently, she traces the curve of his shoulder, "It wasn't your fault," she says again, "I promise you it isn't."

Freddie silently nods, he moves back a little and wipes at his eyes. He doesn't want to cry in front of her. Imani gently catches his wrists however and moves his hands away from his face, Freddie glances up at her and she's smiling at him softly.

"Don't be a guy Freddie," She says and she wipes away his tears, "I really don't care if you cry."

Freddie forces a laugh but it sounds broken and choked, "Sorry for my overwhelming amount of testosterone."

"I'll cope," Imani smiles, she brings her hand to his cheek, "You need to get some rest though."

Freddie silently nods. He knows she's right, the Healer who healed him had offered him a sleeping potion but he refused, he didn't want to sleep but now, knowing Imani will be near him, he doesn't mind the idea of it.

Imani steps back from him and Freddie moves back on the bed so that he's lay down, he still aches but not as much as he had before. Imani lays down next to him and he turns so that he's facing her, so that he can see each curl of her hair (now black and green) individually, and her bright blue eyes, and that scar under her jaw he's kissed a thousand times…

Imani takes his hand and laces her fingers through his, "Get some sleep," she coaxes, "I'll be right here."

Freddie nods but doesn't say anything. He shuts his eyes.

Her hand is soft and warm around his but he forgets how it feels and remember the hands on his skin, the hands he tried to push away. Her breath is soft against his face but he forgets how it feels and remembers Jarred's breath, harsh against his check. He remembers _her_ touch and _his_ touch, he remembers it through the vague half asleep state he was in, he remembers their blurry faces, their forced kisses, the way Jarred had slipped his hand down his pants and bite his neck…

Freddie doesn't remember when he forgets how all the little things about Imani comfort and calm him. He doesn't remember when he forgets how she was the little light in the world of darkness he had come to love so much, or when he decides to retreat back into the darkness.

He doesn't remember because he hears the sound of a chaotic breakdown of a piano in his head, and Jarred's voice rather than Imani's soothing voice.

And what's the point of saying it'll just be a one time thing?

* * *

Teddy is pacing in one of the bedroom upstairs. He knows everyone, especially the adults, are worried because George, Angelina and Freddie had vanished off to St Mungo's without an explanation. Molly knows Teddy knows why but Vic intercepted her Grandmother, giving Teddy time to escape and _think_. He thinks if Molly asks him what happened he might lose it.

Jarred _fucking_ James.

Teddy kicks a desk of drawers and growls in frustration. He'd hooked up with him _once_ , at party, it was a one-night stand, no strings attached, and nothing more…he'd done it when he felt like the world was crumbling around him. When he for a while, had so desperately wants to be with his parents that his own dark thoughts terrified him, when he hated them and loved at the same time. _Why had they left him_?

Teddy firmly shakes his head. _They didn't have a choice_ , he tells himself, _they didn't want to, they had to, they did it for me, don't be like this again Teddy_ …

And because of a one-night stand Jarred had made his life hell. He'd threatened to out him to his family (at the time Teddy had freaked thinking they would disown him if they knew he liked guys as well as girls) and told Teddy's friends, several who had abandoned Teddy out of disgust calling him a 'degenerate' and a 'f**' and a few, a few like Michael Wood who had smirked and said "So Lupin, ever fancied me then huh?" before laughing and not caring at all that Teddy liked guys as well.

But Jarred had drove Teddy further to the insanity he was nearing. He'd hit him more times than Teddy could count, threatened to hurt Vic and just been a complete and utter _asshole_. Teddy sighs and stops pacing.

And now…he'd _raped_ someone. Not just someone either, but _Freddie_. His oldest friend, his _best_ friend. The guy who Teddy had thought was just a mere bully was now a _rapist_.

Teddy sighs deeply and sits down, he places his head in his hands and takes a few deep breaths. He _hates_ Jarred and he hates that he hurt Freddie and he hates that he doesn't know what to do or how to help, or if he _can_ help.

* * *

 _ **A/N So, another chapter...thinks got a little better in some ways for Freddie, people know what has happened to him and are helping him but who knows if things will keep getting better? *pause for sinister laugh* Next chapter should be up soon!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: Everything but the plot and a few OC characters belongs to Rowling, not m_ e

* * *

 _Chapter 7: 'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of faling apart, and truth be told, I never was yours_

* * *

Percy had always hated being a Weasley. He hated the shame of living in the countryside and in a old rickety house, he hated trying to prove he wasn't a little 'country' boy and living up to the names his elder brothers had built at Hogwarts. Bill and Charlie were the partiers, popular and well liked and Percy was the nerd in the corner, who liked to read and followed rules stiffly. He felt he had to bring some honour back to his family name.

Fred and George were his worst enemy.

He hated the twins with a passion. He hated how they caused trouble at home and school, he hated the disrespect they held for anyone and everyone but most of all, he hated how people loved them. He hated how people placed them on a pedestal and praised them for silly and juvenile pranks. He hated how his brother left him out and mocked him despite Percy being _older_. They were pathetic.

Percy hid his hatred for his siblings and his family's ridiculous lifestyle well, he held some hope that he could maybe help Ginny and Ron not follow his elder brother's stupid lifestyles. With Bill off in a tomb and fucking some French slut and Charlie with dragons and fucking _men_ (a disgusting thing, if you asked Percy) Percy was the influence in the family, for his siblings. But no, he was ignored. Ginny loved Fred and George. And Ron was best friends with Potter.

He was the only sane one in the fucking family.

When Fred died though…he had to admit it hurt. He was his little brother and seeing his pale and still body, lifeless except for his lips curled up into the ghost of a laugh was traumatic. It hurt but he felt like he was forcing the tears out of his body. He moved Fred with the help of Harry and continued on with the battle. He did not cry when his family were gathered around the body, he did not shed a single tear as George clung to him, sobs racking his body. He didn't even comfort his brother.

 _Only nice when you need comfort_ , he had thought bitterly as George's tears soaked his shirt, _typical_.

He remember being relieved when _she_ pulled George away from him and was comforting him, smoothing his hair back and kissing his forehead and holding him close as their tears mingled together and their sobs became one. Had Angelina been of a different… _colouring_ , Percy might have found her attractive. He never saw what Fred saw in her, and he failed to see the attraction George held towards her.

He smiled and laughed at the wedding, the presence of alcohol allowing him to be cheerful for once despite hating the presence of his family. He danced with his little sister and his Mother, even danced with Fleur at one point though he was very drunk at that point in the night. Alcohol was nice at numbing things, making him more pleasant to his family. He nursed a drink as often as he could but would only get drunk when it was acceptable to. He would _not_ lose his job.

Percy felt like sneering at George when he married at Audrey. Here he was with his beautiful bride, pale ivory skin, long black hair. She was everything a woman was meant to be, passive and pure and quiet and she hung to Percy's every word. Percy did love her. He also lusted after her but…there was something missing. Their sex life was satisfactory but not all Percy craved, it unnerved him a little.

He had made the mistake of drinking a little too much at a family event – a birthday or a christening, he does not recall – and telling Charlie of this. Charlie's response had made him sick with disgust.

"Maybe you like guys or something," His brother had shrugged, he took a swig of his own drink and flashed him a grin, "Maybe you didn't do enough experimenting?" he winked.

Luckily, Percy could pass him throwing up as being too drunk and Charlie laughed the whole matter off. But his words had stuck with Percy. He was not like his brother, he did not have _unnatural_ feelings towards men. Maybe he was just frustrated and bored. He realised though, that this was not the case and the truth was worse.

Freddie had just turned six when he and Audrey wed.

George's son had a certain knack for trouble like his Father and his uncle and the boy was often seen causing trouble with that Lupin boy. Percy did not want him to ruin his wedding but he had had enough to drink that he greeted the little family jovially. Roxanne was dressed in a pretty little dress and Freddie in a smart little suit though he was pouting about this fact and sulkily hung by his Father's side.

"Congrats Perce," George hugged his brother, a bright grin on his face before he moved back to his wife's side, "What's it like being married?"

"No different than being engaged," was Percy's reply, he took a generous sip of his drink.

George glanced at Freddie, "Wanna go find Teddy and play, kid?"

His son had beamed and nodded rapidly. Percy had felt a strange pull in his stomach. Freddie reminded him too much of his idiot Father and idiot Uncle and his filthy _coloured_ Mother, but the kid was cute. Bright blue eyes and smooth caramel skin, his hair was a mess of curls that fell into his eyes. He was like a little cherub. Percy had found himself staring. He had found himself feeling feelings he had only felt towards Audrey…towards his _nephew_.

But then Freddie had ran off. And Percy went back to drinking. He imagined his first time as a married man though to be with someone very different than his fully grown, adult, female wife.

* * *

It had been with a desperation that George had called and asked Percy to take care of Freddie and Rox for the weekend. Percy had been married for a year now, his first child, a little girl, had graced the world and she was as quiet and diligent as her Mother but he had no forgotten that moment at his wedding. His fantasies has increased to the point that if sometimes when he was alone, he would drink until he didn't feel guilty and touch himself and imagine that it was a much smaller hand doing the dirty action.

Percy composed himself at George's request and accepted it with lordly composure. He waited until his brother had deposited his children at his home, thanked him profusely before disappearing with a loud _crack_. Freddie and Roxanne kept themselves well entertained, he only had to scold them once for bothering his little angle and only one glass was broken.

Freddie was seven at this point. He was a little taller and his face had aged a little more and even in a little shirt with a colourful pattern on and his hair a little too long he still looked like a cherub. His bright grin and chubby cheeks and pearly white teeth…Percy was practically salivating. He fetched a drink and tipped it back in one. He had to wait.

"Freddie," he approached his nephew when it came to bedtime, "I think you're big enough to stay in your own room here tonight, don't you think?"

Oh how Freddie had beamed and fervently nodded, he ignored Roxanne's protest and he shooed them both off to bed. He downed another drink, feeling a little tipsy. This was his chance, he would not screw it up.

He walked to the spare room he had sent Freddie to stay in for the night, he cracked open the door and quietly stepped inside. He had shut the door and cast a few silencing spells before Freddie had noticed his presence, the boy was always daydreaming.

"Uncle Percy?" Freddie tilted his head at him. Percy had never seen anything cuter.

"You've not gotten changed yet, Freddie," Percy scolded, "Where are your pyjamas?"

"I can get changed myself," Freddie sniffed indignantly, "I'm a big boy."

Percy smiled indulgently, feeling bold he reached for the hem of Freddie's shirt and pulled it off over the boys head. Freddie huffed but didn't say anything. Percy licked his lips and glanced over Freddie's shirtless body. The boy shifted at his hungry stare, looking a little uncomfortable.

"I can do the rest."

There was tremor of fear to his voice. It practically made Percy drool.

"I can do the rest for you, Freddie," his hands were on the boy's small hips.

So small and precious and _pure_ the boy was.

Freddie tried to move away but Percy dug his nails into his skin. The boy cried out. Percy's pants suddenly felt uncomfortably tight. He pushed the boys pants down and then his sweet little boxers. He was drunk on lust. So small and untainted, so pure and perfect and sweet. His eyes hungrily roved over his body.

"I want to go to bed," Freddie was crying at this point but could not escape his uncles grasp for Percy was much stronger than he, "Please."

"You'll like this," Percy soothed, firmly taking a hold of him in his hand, "You will."

* * *

By the time Percy was done, some of his senses had returned to him.

"Fuck," he swore, his voice hoarse.

He did not feel guilt, or remorse, pure pleasure and satisfaction ran through him. He had only touched the boy and made him touch him but he had never felt so _alive_. Freddie was sobbing, loud sobs racking his naked and bruised body. Percy felt his stomach twist. George would see the bruises for sure, he knew his brother would find out what he'd done to the cherub and he could not have that.

He stiffly stood and drew his wand watching his crying little angel, he aimed his wand at Freddie ' _Obliviate_ '.

* * *

Percy always felt in control around the boy. He would laugh and run and jump and skip and prank as he always did. Freddie grew before his eyes and he felt a little bit of sadness each time he saw Freddie, each time he saw him that he had gained an extra inch to his height, or that the line of his jaw was more defined or that he was muscular now and not lanky he felt that stirring of sadness. It was like he was losing something, like something had been stolen away like he had stolen Freddie's innocence.

But then he felt stirrings of lust again when he saw the teen shirtless once after a Quidditch match with his cousins, his muscles were taut and defines, beads of sweat rolling down the crevices of his abs. His shoulders were defined and strong and Percy was practically drooling at the sight. He had seen him as boy in all his glory, been the first to teach him how to sexually pleasure a man (though of course Freddie remembered none of it) and now this man stood before, waiting for him to remind him of those things.

He knew it was risky, sneaking him to the room Freddie was in but he could not control himself. Audrey had satisfied him somewhat but that hunger was there and he could _not_ control himself. He was thankful not many of his family were there that night otherwise his desires would be ruined by the presence of several other people in the room Freddie was in.

Percy stepped in the room and cast the charms and wards in an almost routine way. He silently shut the door and watched the teen for a moment. He was asleep in a shirt, not with a colourful little pattern but black and loose around the muscled frame Percy knew was hidden there, he wore boxers and no pants and the covers were hung loosely around him, his mouth opened a little as he slept.

Percy moved over to the teen. He remember the six year old cherub at his wedding, oh how in only seven years had things changed. Percy sat beside the boy whose purity and innocence he had claimed, he pushed his hair out of his closed eyes. Freddie barely stirred. Percy smile and drew his wand once more and as he always did before they shared they're beautiful moments together, he removed the memory charm.

He placed his hand on Freddie's shoulder, feeling the tight muscles hidden from his touch only through a thin layer of fabric and shook it. He stirred, groaned, opened his eyes and shrank away in terror. Percy grinned.

"Now Freddie," Percy scolded, he pushed away the covers the teen desperately clung to and took a hold of the hem of the shirt between his fingers, "You know better than this."  
"Please don't," Freddie's voice was small and desperate, "I don't want to touch you."

Percy paused contemplatively. The thought didn't bring as much joy to his mind as it used to. That's what he did with the _boy_. The person before him was a man now. Percy smiled and slid his hands under Freddie's shirt, tracing his muscles. Freddie shuddered and started crying.

"I think you're a big boy now," Percy leant down and kissed Freddie's cheek, an illusion of comfort, "It will hurt a lot and I expect you to scream, okay?"

And scream he did.

* * *

"Oh deary me," Percy exclaimed dramatically.

He had dressed and made himself presentable and erased any clues from his person of what had just happened…Freddie was another case. He rolled the teen onto his side. He was naked and didn't respond to his touch, his eyes were glassy and his cheeks stained with tears. Percy drew his wand and started to heal him.

"That's a lot of blood," He said lightly, almost cheerfully, "And my those bruises are beautiful…" he felt hungry again but he had to return to his wife before she woke, he could not afford to raise suspicion.

He healed the marks he had left on Freddie, the hickeys he'd left on his neck and the blood and bruises along his thighs and backside. Percy had never seen a more beautiful sight as the one of the dark skinned teen, whimpering and crying beneath him as he claimed his virginity. Percy ran his fingers through Freddie's hair fondly.

"Til next time." He kissed his hair, cast the memory charm he had cast for so many years and left the room, a skip to his step.

* * *

Percy did not often feel jealous, but he felt that horrible feeling surge through him and consume him when he saw that Japanese whore clinging to Freddie's arm, kissing his lips and bringing a smile to his face. Percy made a disgusted noise and moved away from the couple. He was there with much of his family to bring Freddie home from the mental health centre.

Boy how he had missed his sweet like cherub and how he had missed making marks on his skin. He saw a mark on Freddie's jaw, unmistakably a hickey…how _dare_ she mark what was his? Fury and anger were consuming him and he wanted nothing more than to drag Freddie off and remind him of who he belonged to. But he could not, there were too many people, too many chances to be caught.

That painful feeling of jealousy faded when they left the _whore_ behind at the centre and took Freddie to the Burrow. Percy indulged himself in recalling those beautiful memories of the acts he and Freddie had partook in in that house, the first time he'd claimed Freddie as his in the room upstairs and the countless times after that and those times after, when he grew more daring…

When he dragged Freddie into the pantry, removed the charm and silenced him so no one heard his cries. Outside after a party. When Freddie was in the bathroom – he'd seen his little cherub (who wasn't so little anymore) slice his wrists with a knife and had decided to show him how that knife could be used in more ways than one… Percy collected himself. He could not lose himself in those memories, he'd just have to wait, just have to wait…

* * *

"He was raped, Vic," Teddy's voice was quiet, a underlying tone of fury to his voice, " _Raped_ , by fucking Jarred…"

"Calm down Teddy," he hears his niece's voice, soft and quiet, "Getting angry won't help anything."

Percy presses his ear closer to the wood of the door but he can't hear anymore of their hushed words. He huffs and moves away after a few moments. He can't lie, he was terrified when he heard Teddy mention the fact Freddie had been raped thinking someone had found out his secret, but that fear turned to relief and then to jealously. Someone else had claimed his cherub in the way he was only allowed.

Teddy and Vic eventually leave the room. Teddy's hair is a dark red and he looks nothing short of furious.

"Oh, hi Percy," Vic greets him in a false cheerful voice, "Didn't realise you were here."

Percy composes himself easily, "I was just passing through," he drawls, "What were you two doing?"

"Just talking," Teddy says in a faintly annoyed voice, "Is that illegal now?"

Percy wants to slap the stupid Lupin boy but doesn't, "Heard you mention Freddie a second ago, everything okay with him?"

Teddy's dark red hair turns darker. Vic glances at her boyfriend and bites her lip.

"He's in St Mungo's," She says slowly, "Someone hurt him."

Percy shortly nods, his heart is beating very quickly, he found out all he wanted to, "I hope he'll be okay then," he replies simply before walking away.

Maybe now he has his chance.

* * *

When Freddie wakes the first thing he notices is that the comforting presence of his girlfriend is gone. He feels a pinch of sadness at this fact but he's too overwhelmed by those other dark thoughts and feelings to really think about it much, he pulls the cover up to his chin, lets out a shaky breath and tries to stay calm.

It's dark out.

He's never liked being in a dark room. He's often relied with the dull light of his phone charging overnight to stop him from being immersed in the dark, its not as if he's scared of the dark, he just finds it sinister and there's something about being in a dark room alone that puts him on edge. He hears his breaths loudly in the room. He's practically hyperventilating. He wishes Imani was still there.

He hears the door slowly opened, a channel of light floods the room then quickly vanished. He feels a little stirring of confusion.

"Imani?" He winces at the shake to his voice.

Whoever is in his room doesn't answer. He feels his skin crawl and pulls the cover closer.

 _Lips on his neck. Teeth digging into the flesh. Everything is blurred. Hands are on him, touching him, caressing his thighs_ …

"Imani?" Freddie says again. He feels like he might throw up.

"Hush," the figure says, its familiar voice but Freddie can't quite place it yet, "You'll remember in a moment…"

Freddie starts to reach for his wand, his hand shaking when the figure mutters something, an incantation that comes straight from his nightmares…he freezes in place.

 _A kiss on his cheek…fingers in his hair…fingers around him…touching…_

"Oh my little cherub," there's a sudden weight on the bed, close to him, there's a hand on his shoulder so familiar and terrifying Freddie wants to scream, "You're _all_ mine, remember?"

 _"Touch," the red haired man said, his voice is soft then stern, "Touch!" he snaps, and terrified he does so, it feels wrong and disgusting and he cries and cries…_

"Go away," Freddie chokes out, he's drowning in torment, years of memories crashing over him at once, "Go away, go away, go away…"

 _It was night-time. The moonlight was filling his room and he stares at the moon, thinking of how it reminded him of going with Teddy to watch his friend get the tattoo of the cycle of the moon on his back, a good memory…Percy is panting against his neck, hands gripping his hips tightly, so tightly they're bruising…a sob breaks through his throat…it hurts so much…_

He's on his back. Freddie blinks in surprise, then in terror. Percy is over him. He's holding him down.

"No," he whimpers, he doesn't want this, he wants Imani back, "No, _please_ …"

He pleads go on deaf ears though. His Uncle's hands deftly push down his joggers and trace his hipbone. He shudders and tries to push him away but Percy's weight is all over him, his breath on his neck.

"All mine," his nails bite into Freddie's skin, "You know that right?"

 _He's terrified as Percy locks the door to the pantry. He waits for him to cast the silencing charm but he doesn't. He pins him to the wall. "Be quiet my little cherub," he coos and slides his hands under Freddie's shirts, "Don't want anyone else hearing this now, do you?" He wants someone to find him, he wants someone to tear this monster away from him and keep him away but they can't know his shame…_

He yells out in pain. Freddie's breaths are sharp and ragged. He feels like Percy is crushing him. His teeth sink into his neck, breaking the skin and drawing blood. He yells again and focuses on that pain instead of the pain occurring much lower on his body. A sob breaks through his throat and God, he just wants to die so that it would end.

And suddenly, it does end.

* * *

George is stood frozen, his wand is in his hand and raised though he doesn't recall drawing it, and his brother is sat, groaning on the opposite side of the wall, naked from the waist down. The room is suddenly flooded with harsh light and his eyes are fixed on his son. His shirt has been pulled up his stomach, his pants and underwear pulled down exposing the bruises and _oh Merlin_ the blood, so much blood…

He hears his sons sobs and suddenly he snaps out of it. George rushes over to Freddie's side. He's on his side, sobbing loudly and unashamedly. George quickly fixes his clothes and his son barely reacts to his touch. He seems to not even realise he's there.

"Hey, hey, Freddie," George keeps his voice gentle despite feeling absolutely, positively _murderous_ , "Look at me, kid."

The term of address George has used for years encourages Freddie to open his eyes and look over at him, his blue eyes are glassy and oh so broken.

"Dad?" he croaks out.

"Right here, kid," he soothes, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Freddie whimpers and nods.

He hears a groan from the other side of the room, his gaze snaps over to his brother painfully sitting up on the floor. Never has he ever felt so much hate for someone before, let alone for his _brother_.

"You sick, fucking bastard," George snarls, he wants to curse the asshole and make him suffer but he controls himself, _barely_ , "How _fucking_ dare you do this to my son?"

Percy grins cockily. An expression never usually on his face.

"I've been doing this for years," his voice is sickeningly arrogant and George wants to snap his neck, "Memory charms really do wonders, don't they?"

George is about to lunge about him but he hears his son's voice break through the anger swirling through his mind, "Dad…"

He doesn't say anything else and when George glances over at him it appears like he can't say much else. He's shaking so badly.

"You're going to get what you fucking deserve," George spits at Percy.

He casts a Patronus and sends it off to a few of his siblings and Teddy. _They_ can handle that bastard. His son needs him.

* * *

 _ **A/N - wow so that took me ages to upload! So things started to get a little better last chapter...now look what happened! Needless to say I don't really like Percy this much. Hopefully should update again soon! Please R & R! **_


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